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Some people say that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Some people say that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? n6dGR
Some people are of the opinion that one of the main ways to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. It is true that money can help one buy a lot of materialistic things, but can it bring true happiness? In this essay, we would go through different arguments and aim to address the question of money being able to provide hapiness. Before trying to answer the question, it is important to establish how one measures hapiness. Hapiness is a state of mind, where one feels elated and full of joy from within. At its core, it is a feeling driven by the brain due to internal or external factors. Now let's discuss some of the external factors which can trick brain into inducing a sense of hapiness. Some of the examples which can bring hapiness to a person are - buying one's dream house, getting a promotion, and going to a movie one always wanted to go. All of these activities are possible due to money. These are very few things that money can buy among many things in the world. So it is safe to say that money definitely can help one achieve hapiness. On the other hand, few activities like, birth of a new born, accidentally meeting your favourite star, or seeing your first flower come out of the plant can also induce feelings of hapiness. However, money cannot buy any of these items and hence it can be argued that there are other things in life which money cannot buy and yet can make people happy. In conclusion, while it is safe to say that there are multiple things that money can buy and help people realize their dreams, but it would be difficult to say that money provide long-lasting hapiness. Therefore, it is imperative for human beings to look within and perform activites of higher reason and cause to achieve true hapiness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that one of the main ways to be happy in life is to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. It is true that
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money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
materialistic things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can it bring true happiness? In this essay, we would go through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
arguments and aim to address the question of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
being able to provide
Possible spelling mistake found.
hapiness
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
trying to answer the question, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to establish how one measures
Possible spelling mistake found.
hapiness
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hapiness
is a state of mind, where one feels elated and full of joy from within. At its core, it is a feeling driven by the brain due to internal or external factors.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's discuss
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some of the
external factors which can trick brain into inducing a sense of
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hapiness
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
examples which can bring
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hapiness
to a person are
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
buying one's dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, getting a promotion, and going to a movie one always wanted to go. All of these activities are possible due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few things that
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money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
among
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many
things in the world.
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So
it is safe to say that
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money
definitely can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one achieve
Possible spelling mistake found.
hapiness
.

On the other hand
, few activities like, birth of a new born,
accidentally
meeting your
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favourite
star, or seeing your
first
flower
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come
out of the plant can
also
induce feelings of
Possible spelling mistake found.
hapiness
.
However
,
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money
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
any of these items and
hence
it can
be argued
that there are other things in life which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
and
yet
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
happy.

In conclusion
, while it is safe to say that there are multiple things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
realize their dreams,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would be difficult to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
provide long-lasting
Possible spelling mistake found.
hapiness
.
Therefore
, it is imperative for human beings to look within and perform
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
of higher reason and cause to achieve true
Possible spelling mistake found.
hapiness
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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