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Some people say that the main purpose of television should be education while others says it should be for entertainment only

Some people say that the main purpose of television should be education while others says it should be for entertainment only Lq0G1
One of the most important device, television has become an integral part of the every one's lives during the past few decades. Many argue that, it should be used for entertaining purposes, while others state that this should only be utilized for academic aspects. Although I am at the middle position and this essay will elucidate these phenomenon in a greater extent and outline the conclusion. First and foremost, Television has originally introduced for entertain the general public and number of different programs are telecasting day by day for entertain people. unlike past, now people could be able to aware about new updates around the world within seconds, sports and live streaming with the blessed of the state-of -art technology in contemporary televisions. Most individuals used to watch tele dramas, movies and musical events on the television to release their stress due to the hectic life style they are spending in these days. For example, Most of the dramas and musical events telecast at night time. this is because the target is the working crowd. On the other hand, People who are wowing that the television should be used as a academic tool, always declare that only educational programs should be telecasted. Most of among them are university lectures, teachers and academic staff. According to them, students could be highly benefitted by these programs, but on the other side, media owners hesitate to telecast those programs because majority are favor in entertainment programs. For example, Recent research stated that, there is a higher demand for musical programs which are telecasting on the television. To conclude, it is apparent that, both academic and entertainment areas should be touched in television programs in order to provide best out of the best to the society. therefore I can conclude that, there should be maintained proper balance between educational programs and entertainment programs in order cater viable solutions for the students as well as individuals who are working.
One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Please check whether a plural form of 'device' should be used.
device
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has become an integral part of the every one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
during the past few decades.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue that, it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for entertaining purposes, while others state that this should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be utilized
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
aspects. Although I am at the middle position and this essay will elucidate
Did you mean "this phenomenon" or "these phenomena", "these phenomenons"?
these phenomenon
in a greater extent and outline the conclusion.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
has
originally
introduced for entertain the
Consider using "public".
general public
and number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are telecasting day by day for entertain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
unlike
past,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could be able to aware about new updates around the world within seconds, sports and
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
live streaming
with the blessed of the state-of -art technology in contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
. Most individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
tele
dramas, movies and musical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
to release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
due to the hectic life style they are spending in these days.
For example
, Most of the dramas and musical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
telecast at
This word is normally spelled as one.
night time
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the target is the working crowd.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who are wowing that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
tool, always declare that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
should be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
. Most of among them are university lectures, teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
staff. According to them, students could be
highly
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other side, media owners hesitate to telecast those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
majority are favor in entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
For example
, Recent research stated that, there is a higher demand for musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
which are telecasting on the television.

To conclude
, it is apparent that, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and entertainment areas should
be touched
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
in order to provide best out of the best to the society.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
I can conclude that, there should
be maintained
proper balance between educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
in order cater viable solutions for the students
as well
as individuals who are working.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the main purpose of television should be education while others says it should be for entertainment only

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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