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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of perticular of plants and animals.Others say that there are more important environmental problems.Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of perticular of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. MDgo
When tha topic of environmental issues is discussed, there are divided opinions. A group of people regard that the major environmental problem of recent time is poss of special trees as well as animals; whereas, a few others claim that there are more important environmental problems. Prior to my opinion, both the viewpoints would be discussed. Discussing the former opinion, the supporters explain that the loss of some plants and animals is a challenge. It will disturbe the food chain. For example, vegetarian animals like rabbit, dear, etc. eat a grass and vegetables. Wild animals like lion, tiger, etc. eat a vegetarian animals. When we loss the wild animals number of vegetarian animals will be increased and consequently they harm our farm and eat the farm production. This will be food shortage in the world. On the contrary, the proponents of the latter view claim that climate change caused by human activity is bigger challenge. Due to pollution, temperatures of all world are rising. This causes the melting of ice and as a result, level of sea is rising. Climate change also affect costal cities as well as many villages. This affect food production also. Another issue is the health problems in both humans and animals. Many types of birds and animals cannot survive in the highly polluted areas. People living in such places also facing various problems like asthma and cancer. To sum up and offer my opinion, I support that both the problems are a serious. Public and government give proper attention on both the problems. Loss of the some plants and animals harm the food chain. However, climate change is even bigger challenge.
When
Possible spelling mistake found.
tha
topic of environmental issues
is discussed
, there
are divided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
. A group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regard that the major environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of recent time is poss of special trees
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
; whereas, a few others claim that there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Prior to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, both the viewpoints would
be discussed
.

Discussing the former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, the supporters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that the loss of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is a challenge. It will
Possible spelling mistake found.
disturbe
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain.
For example
, vegetarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like rabbit, dear, etc. eat a grass and vegetables. Wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like lion, tiger, etc. eat a vegetarian
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "animal"?
animals
. When we
Did you mean "lost" (past tense of the verb 'lose')?
loss
the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
number of vegetarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
will
be increased
and
consequently
they harm our farm and eat the farm production. This will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shortage in the world.

On the contrary
, the proponents of the latter view claim that climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
caused by human activity is bigger challenge. Due to pollution, temperatures of all world are rising. This causes the melting of ice and
as a result
, level of sea is rising. Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
also
affect
Possible spelling mistake found.
costal
cities
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
villages. This affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production
also
. Another issue is the health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in both humans and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
types of birds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
cannot survive in the
highly
polluted areas.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
living in such places
also
facing various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like asthma and cancer.

To sum up and offer my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, I support that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a serious
. Public and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
give proper attention on both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Loss of the
Did you mean "same"?
some
plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain.
However
, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is even bigger challenge.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of perticular of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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