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many students find it hard to concentrate in the class nowadays.what are the reasons behind this?what solutions can you suggest?

many students find it hard to concentrate in the class nowadays. what are the reasons behind this? what solutions can you suggest? xKYQ
It is true that these days some children are facing problems to focus in their studies. This essay will discuss the causes why this is occurring and offer some solutions. A major reason for this situation is malnutrition. Because concentration is basically the function of the brain and the brain needs energy for proper functioning of cells. As there is a lack of nutritional diets these days, children cannot fulfil their requirements of the body. So, this nutritional gap causes lack of concentration. Another factor that can be attributed to this problem is the lack of motivation. Motivation works as a driving force behind any human action. Same for students, to stay concentrated in their studies, they need time to time motivation about their future goals but most of the schools work only on the completion of bookish syllabus, which is not a practical way to make enthusiasm in students. However, there is a variety of possible solutions available to address this problem. The governments and parents should take steps for adolescents’ growth. This may be done through improving food quality and by giving some supplementation. If the required level of nutrition is given to children, then they can have good physical and mental growth, which will help in making more concentration. Another way to combat this issue is by encouraging students to their future goals. For this, first teachers should be more passionate for their profession and they should teach in a practical and interesting way. So that children can stay curious to learn something new. In conclusion, malnutrition and lack of motivation are both to blame for the lack of concentration. Only after taking steps to combat these blames can students regularly concentrate in their studies.
It is true that these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are facing problems to
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "focus".
focus in
their studies. This essay will discuss the causes why this is occurring and offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

A major reason for this situation is malnutrition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concentration
is
basically
the function of the brain and the brain needs energy for proper functioning of cells. As there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of nutritional diets these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot fulfil their requirements of the body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this nutritional gap causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concentration
. Another factor that can
be attributed
to this problem is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivation
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Motivation
works as a driving force behind any human action. Same for students, to stay concentrated in their studies, they need time to time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivation
about their future goals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of the schools work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the completion of bookish syllabus, which is not a practical way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
enthusiasm in students.

However
, there is a variety of possible solutions available to address this problem. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and parents should take steps for adolescents’ growth. This may
be done
through improving food quality and by giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
supplementation. If the required level of nutrition is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, then they can have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical and mental growth, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in making more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concentration
. Another way to combat this issue is by encouraging students to their future goals. For this,
first
teachers should be more passionate for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
profession and
they should teach in a practical and interesting way.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can stay curious to learn something new.

In conclusion
, malnutrition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivation
are both to blame for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concentration
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
after taking steps to combat these blames can students
regularly
concentrate in their studies.
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IELTS essay many students find it hard to concentrate in the class nowadays. what are the reasons behind this? what solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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