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It is a fact that technological innovation is bringing about rapid changes and training becomes a lifelong necessity for most employees. Thus, some people say that industry should take over more responsibility for education to have competent future employees. Do you agree or disagree?

It is a fact that technological innovation is bringing about rapid changes and training becomes a lifelong necessity for most employees. Thus, some people say that industry should take over more responsibility for education to have competent future employees. NNeW
This is indeed true that with the advancement in technology in modern world the competition to provide training to employees has also risen. The whole responsibility should require to be of industries. However, I am disagree with the notion stated above. I would shed light on reason of my disagreement alongside a conclusion at the end of this paragraph. To begin with, nobody can deny the fact that technology has returned us innovation and we should seriously implement these into various phases of our life and extract the benefit out of it. First, a majority of workers are already containing the knowledge regarding their work prior to join thus needed to add on to the trend going on. To demonstrate, there are several crash courses, updates and current methods that they have to go through and clear to cut out for the job. As a repercussion, nowadays, owing to the fact of already been informative in their tertiary makes jobbers more adaptable to learn a new skill and it saves time and energy. Furthermore, industries cannot impart the life-long training to their staff as it would definitely cost them an arm and a leg. The onus should be handled by government either by developing some sort of system to add business subjects and value of being trained with the other academic subjects. To exemplify, today's children are tomorrow's employees therefore the best place will certainly be schools and colleges. Moreover, governments are inevitably powerful to do this thing due to availability of higher number of resources. On the flip side of the coin, a few counts of people advocate that industrialist is liable to give training to fresh graduates to erase the unemployment. Also, once training is completed the whole benefit would be overpowering industries as a whole. By being learnt how to perform the particular task the employability would genuinely incline. Therefore, all amount of profit earned and dedicated employees could result into much renowned industries of the near future. In the nut shell, I strongly believe that fruitful outcome will be achieved by industries on the contrary this does not standby the fact that they undertake the burden of longer process of training. In spite of this, governments, schools and colleges must understand the call of the hour and take necessary steps towards this significant factor.
This is
indeed
true that with the advancement in technology in modern world the competition to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to employees has
also
risen. The whole responsibility should require to be of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
.
However
, I am disagree with the notion stated above. I would shed light on reason of my disagreement alongside a conclusion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this paragraph. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nobody can deny the fact that technology has returned us
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
innovation and
we should
seriously
implement these into various phases of our life and extract the benefit out of it.
First
, a majority of workers
The verb 'containing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are already containing
the knowledge regarding their work prior to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
thus
needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on to the trend going on. To demonstrate, there are several crash courses, updates and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
methods that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go through and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
out for the job. As a repercussion, nowadays, owing to the fact of already been informative in their tertiary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
jobbers more adaptable to learn a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and it saves time and energy.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
cannot impart the life-long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to their staff as it would definitely cost them an arm and a leg. The onus should
be handled
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
either by developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of system to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
business subjects and value of
being trained
with the other academic subjects. To exemplify,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's children are tomorrow's employees
therefore
the best place will
certainly
be schools and colleges.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are
inevitably
powerful to do this thing due to availability of higher number of resources. On the flip side of the coin, a few counts of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate that industrialist is liable to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to fresh graduates to erase the unemployment.
Also
, once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is completed
the whole benefit would be overpowering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
as a whole. By being
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
how to perform the particular task the employability would
genuinely
incline.
Therefore
, all amount of profit earned and dedicated employees could result into much renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
of the near future. In the nut shell, I
strongly
believe that fruitful outcome will
be achieved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
on the contrary
this does not standby the fact that they undertake the burden of longer process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, schools and colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
understand the call of the hour and take necessary steps towards this significant factor.

IELTS essay It is a fact that technological innovation is bringing about rapid changes and training becomes a lifelong necessity for most employees. Thus, some people say that industry should take over more responsibility for education to have competent future employees.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
388 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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