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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

According some people opinion, the best way to develop health of inhabitants by growing the munber of sports actions. However, others believe that measuring are requares more sensible effective on public health. My aim from this essay discuss both viewpoints and giving my own ideas related to my own knowladge. To begin with, there are many tipy of sport facilities and residents of country can do more actions in their local area to increase their health, however, people can not do this actions who have more weight. Additionally, if inhabitants train every day morning, they will be better health than who do not train any facilities. In my opinion it is possible to do some actions but people don't like to do this because of laziness. After words, it is claimed that there are more ways to develop public health without any sport facilities, it will be so many ways for instance: diet, reading books and a few sleeping, however everyone can not diet because they have being constant illness. In addition the most preferable and sensible way to increase health of people, it is a diet because of most people can do it without any doubts. Additionally coming to the sleeping, if everyone sleep a few time, it will be useful for their health and they feel much better. Taking everything in to consideration, from my personal experience sport facilities the most effective to keep public health, however, everybody can not do it because of constant illness. likewise other ways also useful but this is choice of residents I mean.
According
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opinion, the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of inhabitants by growing the
Possible spelling mistake found.
munber
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
actions.
However
, others believe that measuring are
Possible spelling mistake found.
requares
more sensible effective on public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. My aim from this essay discuss both viewpoints and giving my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
related to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowladge
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
tipy
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities and residents of country can do more actions in their local area to increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not do this actions who have more weight.
Additionally
, if inhabitants train every day morning, they will be better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
than
Did you mean "whom"?
who
do not train any facilities. In my opinion it is possible to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't like to do this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of laziness.

After words, it
is claimed
that there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to develop public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
for instance
: diet, reading books and a
Possible agreement error. The noun sleeping seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little sleeping".
few sleeping
,
however
everyone can not diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have being constant illness. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the most preferable and sensible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it is a diet
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because
of most
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people
can do it without any doubts.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
coming to the sleeping, if everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "sleeps", "slept".
sleep
a
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "few times".
few time
, it will be useful for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they feel much better.

Taking everything in to consideration, from my personal experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities the most effective to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
however
, everybody can not do it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of constant illness.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
likewise
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
also
useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is choice of residents I mean.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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