Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and thar other measures are requiered. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The field of health is increasing the concern of countries all over the world, probably due to the rising of illnesses and sickness among the population. In this respect, governments commenced to devise solutions to this problem, as it is necessary to reduce health’s issues, and also economic and politic ones due to this situation. Regard to this, some people may believe that to enhance the public health is necessary to produce more sport facilities, while others think this is not enough and more is required to deal with this problem. I am going to briefly describe both points of view. On one side, some people think that by increasing the number of amenities related to sports will tackle the issue about public health, because this would reduce problems as obesity, diabetes, heart diseases, mental issues, and more. This is an argument based on studies that reveals that exercising improves several problems in our mental and physical health, so sports effectively would reduce problems on this area. On the other side, other people believe that sports are not enough to tackle health problems, and I agree with this argument. As I mentioned, it is proved that exercising is an effective way to reduce health issues, but in my opinion, this is not enough to cope with the public health situation. Other measures are needed from governments, for instance, reducing the number of companies related to fast-food and cutting off tobacco stores. I believe this is the source of the problem, and the countries should work on what causes the illnesses and not only on means of reducing this situation. As an example, my father has smoke since he had 15 years old, but at the same time he played sports 3 times per week minimum for his whole life. Sixty years later, he presented lung issues and pneumonia due to the tobacco anyway, despite exercising constantly for years. In conclusion, I believe that although sports are an effective way to reduce health issues, it is not enough for the population, so governments ought to improve other areas first, as quality of food and reducing the sale of products that create addictions, and only after that the increase of sport amenities would be useful.
The field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is increasing the concern of countries all over the world,
probably
due to the rising of illnesses and sickness among the population. In this respect,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
commenced to devise solutions to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, as it is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, and
also
economic and politic ones due to this situation. Regard to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that to enhance the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is necessary to produce more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
and more
is required
to deal with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. I am going to
briefly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
both points of view.

On one side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that by increasing the number of amenities related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
about public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as obesity, diabetes, heart diseases, mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, and more. This is an argument based on studies that reveals that exercising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in our mental and physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
effectively
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
on this area.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument. As I mentioned, it
is proved
that exercising is an effective way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, this is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
to cope with the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
situation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
measures
are needed
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
,
for instance
, reducing the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
related to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food and cutting off tobacco stores. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
this is the source of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, and the countries should work on what causes the illnesses and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on means of reducing this situation. As an example, my father has smoke since he had 15 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time he played
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
3 times per week minimum for his whole life. Sixty years later, he presented lung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and pneumonia due to the tobacco anyway, despite exercising
constantly
for years.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are an effective way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, it is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
for the population,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas
first
, as quality of food and reducing the sale of products that create addictions, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after that the increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
amenities would be useful.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and thar other measures are requiered. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts