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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required. 3OgX
Healthy life is one of the most integral item for the humans living. However, despite increasing sport facilities would be assist to the individuals' health, l feel that sport will be very useful way to help people than other things. Firstly, in this period, thare are many sport in the worldwide such as box, football and other. So individuals should go to these sport to be more healthy and they ought to throw away the fault life style that give you all bad unhealthy time. Moreover, give up the calories is not very easy thing so that in this life humans should take the diate. However, it is not anough. Because, without sport they could not get the result.
Healthy life is one of the most integral item for the humans living.
However
, despite increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities would be
Consider using a past participle here: "assisted".
assist
to the individuals' health, l feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than other things.
Firstly
, in this period,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thare
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in the worldwide such as box, football and other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
individuals should go to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
to be more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
healthy and
they ought to throw away the fault life style that give you all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
unhealthy time.
Moreover
, give up the calories is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that in this life humans should take the
Possible spelling mistake found.
diate
.
However
, it is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
anough
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the result.

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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