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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these vies and give your own opinion.

While some people argued that building more sport facilities is the best solution to improve a good environment, others take the view that this not bring much impact and concerned that there are another method for this. In my opinion, it is better to find another way to improve public than just increasing amount of sport facilities. On one side of the argument, there are people who hold their opinion that making people to do some exercise can make a decrease number of people to get disease. It is very understandable that sport really bring a number of benefit for human. In fact, doing a gym can prevent a person to get sick from diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure and much else. Despite doing a bad thinks either like drink an alcohol or go to the club, it is better to do a fitness. Nevertheless, it is difficult to campaign people for doing a sport and that is out of our control because it is free for person to do what they like. On the other hand, I am of the view that there is another measure to create a public health. The most compelling reason for my view is that adding some new hospital is more effective to face this issue since it will reduce the waiting list and also give more preference of hospital for people. For instance, during this corona pandemic there lots of demands in hospital and some city in Indonesia couldn’t fulfill it. Therefore, government should be allocated more on health budget. In conclusion, while both views are good to rising a number of public health, I believe building more clinic is the most effective and efficient to tackle this issue although it will takes much money.
While
some
people
argued that building more
sport
facilities is the best solution to
improve
a
good
environment, others take the
view
that this not bring much impact and concerned that there are another method for this. In my opinion, it is better to find another way to
improve
public than
just
increasing amount of
sport
facilities.

On one side of the argument, there are
people
who hold their opinion that making
people
to do
some
exercise can
make
a decrease number of
people
to
get
disease. It is
very
understandable that
sport
really
bring a number of benefit for human. In fact, doing a gym can
prevent
a person to
get
sick from diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure and much else. Despite doing a
bad
thinks
either like drink an alcohol or go to the club, it is better to do a fitness.
Nevertheless
, it is difficult to campaign
people
for doing a
sport
and
that is
out of our control
because
it is free for person to do what they like.

On the other hand
, I am of the
view
that there is another measure to create a public health. The most compelling reason for my
view
is that adding
some
new hospital is more effective to face this issue since it will
reduce
the waiting list and
also
give more preference of hospital for
people
.
For instance
, during this corona pandemic there lots of demands in hospital and
some
city in Indonesia couldn’t fulfill it.
Therefore
,
government
should
be allocated
more on health budget.

In conclusion
, while both
views
are
good
to rising a number of public health, I believe building more clinic is the most effective and efficient to tackle this issue although it will
takes
much money.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measure are required.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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