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Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that young people should involve in temporary jobs to develop basic concept of work and control themselves whereas other proclaim that they need to enjoy their spare time instead of doing jobs. This essay agrees on doing part time job and taking care of other aspects too. It is always good for youngsters to get a job that will cover their spare time which will move them towards understanding responsibility. This way they can be more self-reliable and develop the confident to care of other aspects of their life. We can take examples of European countries where children after they cross their adolescents would be given permission to live their life on their own which is actually a good idea to improvise them. However, there are extra conscious people who want young people to enjoy their life along with other aspects but not to start doing jobs early. They feel that if adults start to get job then they will get extra pressure so rather than involving in money earning activities they can enjoy their spare time by going on weekends or on vacation. For instance, people in California, send their teenage boys and girls either on travelling or to get involved in activities that will increase their other skills. In conclusion, adulthood is the time to understand responsibility so they need to get a job and surely can enjoy other parts along with it not waiting for right time to get a job then planning for it. Meanwhile, it depends on both parents and teenagers but getting a job and living accordingly on own would be better than living in controlled environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should involve in temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to develop basic concept of work and control themselves whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
proclaim that they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
instead
of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
on doing part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects too.

It is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for youngsters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that will cover their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
them towards understanding responsibility. This way they can be more self-reliable and develop the confident to care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of their life. We can take examples of European countries where children after they cross their adolescents would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
permission to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
which is actually a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to improvise them.

However
, there are extra conscious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
their life along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
early. They feel that if adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
then they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
extra pressure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rather
than involving in money earning activities they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by going on weekends or on vacation.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in California,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their teenage boys and girls either on travelling or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in activities that will increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, adulthood is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to understand responsibility
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
surely
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts along with it not waiting for right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
then planning for it. Meanwhile, it depends on both parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and living
accordingly
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
would be better than living in controlled environment.
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IELTS essay Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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