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Some people say that teachers have more influence on students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that teachers have more influence on students. rGPYL
Students’ role models and their influence towards students has always been a topic of interest. Some people believe that the influence coming from mentors at school is wholly greater than that of the parental figures at home. I partially disagree with the aforementioned notion due to the different categories that either parents or teachers would influence the students in. On the one hand, when it comes to knowledge and the development of a student’s intelligence, teacher's guidance would be more accurate than parental guidance. This is because teachers have better understanding of the student’s academic performance on campus, as teachers have examination results in their hands and they could observe one’s academic journey at school through small consecutive tests and the attitude of the students towards them in classes. In addition, they are able to give advice that further improves the student’s performance at school, and even assists the student when they have difficulties in understanding the knowledge being instilled to them by giving examples based on daily life or simplifying the theories even more. This type of influence would greatly affect one’s academic performance and further on helping them gain bigger achievements. On the other hand, parents would have more influence on their children in shaping their personality and behavior. Parents could clearly observe childrens’ behaviour around people and how they would act in everyday situations, furthermore preventing them from behaving incorrectly such as cussing or brawling. In addition, as parents have always been a vital part to their children’s life, it is evident that they inherit certain traits from their parents. These traits often manifest themselves in daily life, forming children’s lifelong character and personality. All in all, it is clearly observable that parents and teachers both have an equal amount of influence that improves different aspects of the students that the others cannot. While parents can be the persona of the student, the teachers can be the motivation for them to study harder everyday.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students’
role models and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has always been a topic of interest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
coming from mentors at school is wholly greater than that of the parental figures at home. I
partially
disagree with the aforementioned notion due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories that either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in.

On the one hand, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to knowledge and the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
intelligence, teacher's guidance would be more accurate than parental guidance. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have better understanding of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
academic performance on campus, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have examination results in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hands and
they could observe one’s academic journey at school through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
consecutive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
and the attitude of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
towards them in classes.
In addition
, they are able to give advice that
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
performance at school, and even assists the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
when they have difficulties in understanding the knowledge
being instilled
to them by giving examples based on daily life or simplifying the theories even more. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
would
greatly
affect one’s academic performance and
further
on helping them gain bigger achievements.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in shaping their personality and behavior.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
could
clearly
observe
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
’
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
around
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and how they would act in everyday situations,
furthermore
preventing them from behaving
incorrectly
such as cussing or brawling.
In addition
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have always been a vital part to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
life, it is evident that they inherit certain traits from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. These traits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
manifest themselves in daily life, forming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
lifelong character and personality.

All in all, it is
clearly
observable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
both have an equal amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that the others cannot. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can be the persona of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can be the motivation for them to study harder
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that teachers have more influence on students.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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