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Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. YBbBV
It is commonly debated by individuals that whome should be rewarded whether the students who are the toppers ot the once who are average but had shown progress in there academic results, In my opinion it is important to reward both because it will not only motivate average students work mote harder but also encourage the toppers to maintain same results in future exams. In this competitive era everyone wants to get rewarded for there hardwork so do toppers so rewarding them will not only make them happy and respected in whole school but also encourage them to maintain same position in there whole academic performance. In simple words in the greed of getting prizess toppers wil do same level of hard work for there nexts exams consequently this will make them more sharp and intelligent and make there future secure because they will definitely get a high paid job after there studies if they maintain there scores well in whole academic font. However only giving pries to the toppers will demotivate others who really done hard work for getting high marks in there exams and are getting better day by day. In other words schools should also appreciate average students for there improvements by giving prizes to them in front of everyone therefore, this recognition for there improvements will motivate them do work more harder for scoring high mark in future for instance it was revealed by the students welfare department of India that the schools who rewarded there average students get 45% better results in there next examinations. To conclude, it can be said that it is important to reward each and every student who do harwork for there studies this will encourage them to perform more better in future.
It is
commonly
debated by individuals that
Possible spelling mistake found.
whome
should
be rewarded
whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are the
Possible spelling mistake found.
toppers ot
the once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
had shown progress in
Did you mean "their"?
there
academic results, In my opinion it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to reward both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
mote harder
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toppers
to maintain same results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
exams.

In this competitive era everyone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rewarded for there
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toppers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rewarding them will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happy and respected in whole school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
encourage them to maintain same position in
Did you mean "their"?
there
whole academic performance. In simple words in the greed of getting prizess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toppers
Possible spelling mistake found.
wil
do same level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for there
Possible spelling mistake found.
nexts
exams
consequently
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more sharp and intelligent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
secure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high paid job after there studies if they maintain there scores well in whole academic font.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
giving pries to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toppers
will demotivate others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
really
done
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for getting high marks in
Did you mean "their"?
there
exams and are getting better day by day.
In other words
schools should
also
appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for there improvements by giving prizes to them in front of everyone
therefore
, this recognition for there improvements will motivate them do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Use only "harder" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more harder
for scoring high mark in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
for instance
it
was revealed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
welfare department of India that the schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
rewarded there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
45% better results in
Did you mean "their"?
there
next
examinations.

To conclude
, it can
be said
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to reward each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do
Possible spelling mistake found.
harwork
for there studies this will encourage them to perform
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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