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Disadvantage of relying too much on technology in work

Disadvantage of relying too much on technology in work jor9M
Nowadays, technology have a significant role to the work place. Technology has changed the way people to work. People can use the technology to work easily and more flexible, for example in past people must come to the office when they want to discuss with their partner in office but nowadays, people can use teleconference for meeting or what’s app in any time. Unfortunately, there are some disadvantage of technology that used in work especially when people had already relied too much on technology. First, when people had already relied too much on technology, they tend not to learn how the technology works. For example, there are some software to help us to count or do statistics, people only will learn how to use the software but they do not learn how to count it or do the statistics task manually. So people will forget the essential of knowledge. Another example, people will think they don’t have to remember anything because they can find it on google. It will bring negative impact on our brain because we rarely use it. Second, the people cannot focus on their work because they will make it easier by using the technology. For example when people in teleconference meeting, they can do another task and underestimate the urgency of meeting because they can record the meeting and watch in another time if they need the information in that meeting. Therefore, people will not focus and rely the information to the recording. To sum up, the technology can change how people work. Technology can bring some advantage and make work easily but if people rely too much on technology it will bring negative impact on the essential of knowledge and the focus of wor
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have a significant role to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
easily
and more flexible, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
in past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the office when they want to discuss with their partner in office
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
teleconference for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
or what’s app in any time. Unfortunately, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
especially
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had already relied too much on technology.

First
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had already relied too much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, they tend not to learn how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
works. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
software to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to count or do statistics,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the software
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not learn how to count it or do the statistics task
manually
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
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people
will forget the essential of knowledge. Another
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example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
remember anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can find it on google. It will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our brain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.

Second, the
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people
cannot focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier by using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in teleconference
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
, they can do another task and underestimate the urgency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can record the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
in another time if they need the information in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not focus and
The verb 'to rely' requires the preposition '(up)on': "rely on".
rely
the information to the recording.

To sum up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantage and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely too much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
it will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the essential of knowledge and the focus of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
wor
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IELTS essay Disadvantage of relying too much on technology in work

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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