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Some people say that staying in a hotel in a foreign country on a holiday is not the best way to know about the country and people. discuss your opinion. v.1

Some people say that staying in a hotel in a foreign country on a holiday is not the best way to know about the country and people. discuss your opinion. v. 1
In recent times, around certain parts of the world, young learners are being stimulated to get a job or to travel right after the completion of their higher education to get their minds prepared for their further coaching. Hence, this development has certain positive and negative outcomes to be considered. On the one hand, self-confidence is one of the major benefits of getting into a job because It helps to empower students with a sense of confidence and reliability. For instance, it is often seen that students who do so apparently are more active and frequently employed than others who do not. In fact, not only the Self-esteem but it also aids to make them financially stable as they earn along with their education which proves to be a helping hand for their families at times. Last but not the least, creativity is another concrete advantage because they often get opportunities to meet new people and to understand the current market scenario; therefore, this makes them tougher and more productive than ever. On the other hand, mind distraction is the most prominent drawback as a majority of young adults feel more independent and certainly indulge themselves in anti-social activities while moving around the world or working somewhere in their early phase of life, and eventually, their academic grades get affected which is clearly unacceptable anyway. In addition, this change, sometimes assists to narrow their future scope as some of them give-up their university education, believing they are mature enough to earn and to manage their future expenses. In conclusion, despite all the above justification, it is clearly showcased that this development has more beneficial aspects than the drawbacks.
In recent times, around certain parts of the world, young learners are
being stimulated
to
get
a job or to travel right after the completion of their higher education to
get
their minds prepared for their
further
coaching.
Hence
, this development has certain
positive
and
negative
outcomes to
be considered
.

On the one hand, self-confidence is one of the major benefits of getting into a job
because
It
helps
to empower students with a sense of confidence and reliability.
For instance
, it is
often
seen
that students who do
so
apparently
are more active and
frequently
employed than others who do not. In fact, not
only
the Self-esteem
but
it
also
aids to
make
them
financially
stable as they earn along with their education which proves to be a helping hand for their families at times. Last
but
not the least, creativity is another concrete advantage
because
they
often
get
opportunities to
meet
new
people
and to understand the
current
market scenario;
therefore
, this
makes
them tougher and more productive than ever.

On the other hand
, mind distraction is the most prominent drawback as a majority of young adults feel more independent and
certainly
indulge themselves in anti-social activities while moving around the world or working somewhere in their early phase of life, and
eventually
, their academic grades
get
affected
which is
clearly
unacceptable anyway.
In addition
, this
change
,
sometimes
assists to narrow their future scope as
some
of them give-up their university education, believing they are mature
enough
to earn and to manage their future expenses.

In conclusion
, despite all the above justification, it is
clearly
showcased that this development has more beneficial aspects than the drawbacks.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Some people say that staying in a hotel in a foreign country on a holiday is not the best way to know about the country and people. discuss your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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