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Some people say that seeing ancient objects in a museum can give the public a unique awareness of history. Others say that modern media, such as films or talks on the internet, provide a more effective way for the public to learn about history.

Some people say that seeing ancient objects in a museum can give the public a unique awareness of history. Others say that modern media, such as films or talks on the internet, provide a more effective way for the public to learn about history. ROl8
Usually, many people say that by exploring ancient objects in a museum gives a different awareness of history to people. Whereas, some believes that movies, podcasts and modern media are the best option for the public to know about ancient history. I would argue that, internet medium provides the best information and knowledge regarding history. On the one hand, it can be seen that some of the ancient objects and arts could be physically experienced gives us more detailed idea about it. Several ancient items are there which are hard to find on any other place or internet. To illustrate, most of the museum contains king’s war equipment and personal items which are hard to find nowadays in market and by seeing that items anyone can get exact and perfect view of that thing or moment. On the other hand, very less amount of people who get much time for travelling and exploring the historical places to know about the past moments. Also, internet medium is the easiest way and quick way to gain knowledge about ancient times and old monuments. That is the reason many people thinks that films, Audio books are the best way to learn about history. To exemplify, most of the internet users uses Wikipedia and Youtube to take knowledge about the history. To sum up, many people think that physically visited museum is more beneficial than finding about such ancient history and objects on the internet. On the flip side some group of people think that gaining information from searching internet is the convenient way. In my view internet is the perfect choice because it is the best way for people to search quickly about the items and history.
Usually
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that by exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
objects in a museum gives a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believes that movies, podcasts and modern media are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
option for the public to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. I would argue that, internet medium provides the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
information and knowledge regarding history.

On the one hand, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
objects and arts could be
physically
experienced gives us more detailed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about it. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are there which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find on any other place or internet. To illustrate, most of the museum contains king’s war equipment and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find nowadays in market and by seeing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
anyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exact and perfect view of that thing or moment.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much time for travelling and exploring the historical places to know about the past moments.
Also
, internet medium is the easiest way and quick way to gain knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
times and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
monuments.
That is
the reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
that films, Audio books are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. To exemplify, most of the internet users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
Wikipedia and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
to take knowledge about the history.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
physically
visited museum is more beneficial than finding about such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and objects on the internet. On the flip side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that gaining information from searching internet is the convenient way. In my view internet is the perfect choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to search
quickly
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.

IELTS essay Some people say that seeing ancient objects in a museum can give the public a unique awareness of history. Others say that modern media, such as films or talks on the internet, provide a more effective way for the public to learn about history.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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