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Every single human on earth is struggling to search for the meaning of happiness throughout his/her lives.

Every single human on earth is struggling to search for the meaning of happiness throughout his/her lives. 6Xoj
Every single human on earth is struggling to search for the meaning of happiness throughout his/her lives. Some people believe that wealth is the most important thing to make people happy. While others believe that there are things other than money that also can make people cheerful. I agree that financial success is basicly needed for a person to seek happiness, but there are also things that contribute to happiness that money can’t buy. On one hand, people need money for many things in their life. For example, people have to fulfill their basic needs, like foods, clothes, educations, etc. It is a fact that people will feel content if their basic needs are fulfilled. Other than that, holidays and travelling are also make people happy. To do that, you need money. Helping people make some people happy. To do so, you also need cash. In addition, people that success financially will have a higher social status on the society. People will look up on you better if you have a lot of cash. On the other hand, there are things that can make people happy which are not related to wealth. First of all, if you have a caring family, you will be fulfilled emotionally and in that way you will be happy. The same reason can be applied if you have good friends around you that can share their feelings with you. Secondly, to have a good health is also a happiness. You can do almost everything that you want if you are healthy. Thirdly, kindness will also make people happy. We enjoy seeing people happy because we help them to address their problems. In conclusion, I think there are things that we can do without money that contribute to contentment, for example to have a caring family and good friends, have a good health, and do some kindness acts. For this reason, people don’t have to be wealthy just to seek happiness.
Every single human on earth is struggling to search for the meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
throughout his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that wealth is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others believe that there are things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cheerful. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that financial success is
Possible spelling mistake found.
basicly
needed for a person to seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
things that contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in their life.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
fulfill their basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, like foods, clothes, educations, etc. It is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will feel content if their basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
are fulfilled
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
than that, holidays and travelling are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "made".
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. To do that, you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. To do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, you
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
cash.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that success
financially
will have a higher social status on the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will look up on you better if you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cash.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are things that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
which are not related to wealth.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if you have a caring family, you will
be fulfilled
emotionally
and in that way you will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. The same reason can
be applied
if you have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
friends around you that can share their feelings with you.
Secondly
, to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
health is
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. You can do almost everything that you want if you are healthy.
Thirdly
, kindness will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. We enjoy seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to address their problems.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are things that we can do without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that contribute to contentment,
for example
to have a caring family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
friends, have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
health, and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kindness acts.
For this reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be wealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.

IELTS essay Every single human on earth is struggling to search for the meaning of happiness throughout his/her lives.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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