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Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.22

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. v. 22
In the modern world, environmental issues are becoming increasingly serious. In this regard, many people are keen to think that the responsibility for the nature should take the government. However, others feel that every individual should protect the atmosphere. Personally, I believe that authorities should regulate and subsidize the conservation of the environment, and individuals should take care the nature as well by participating voluntary works and donate some money for specific organizations. On the one hand, the people should take action in order to save the planet. In this regard, many people are able to at least plant on a tree in his/her life. Furthermore, some scientists can conduct the research on this issue. For example, they can investigate the effects of greenhouse emissions and carbon dioxide. Moreover, they can do a voluntary work every weekend at their area or neighbourhood, such as cleaning the rubbish or brush up the plants. On the other hand, government can organise and subsidise such kinds of initiatives. In this case, they are able to motivate or tax private companies and investors to fund the money for solving environmental problems. For instance, German governors introduced special taxes for the green economy. The other solution can be a media resources, as many people watch the TV and read the newspapers, they can invite the people to use eco-friendly products and foods. However, individuals should be initiated to protect the nature. To conclude, it is true that many people are reckoned to think that the administration should save the environment, personally, In my opinion, I believe that every individual should pay enough attention to the surrounding world. In addition to this, the government should invest the money for conservation.
In the modern world, environmental issues are becoming
increasingly
serious. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the responsibility for the nature should take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
However
, others feel that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should protect the atmosphere.
Personally
, I believe that authorities should regulate and subsidize the conservation of the environment, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should take care the nature
as well
by participating voluntary works and donate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money for specific organizations.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take action in order to save the planet. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to at least plant on a tree in his/her life.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientists can conduct the research on this issue.
For example
, they can investigate the effects of greenhouse emissions and carbon dioxide.
Moreover
, they can do a voluntary work every weekend at their area or
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
, such as cleaning the rubbish or brush up the plants.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
and
Do not mix variants of the same word ('subsidise' and 'subsidize') within a single text.
subsidise
such kinds of initiatives.
In this case
, they are able to motivate or tax private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and investors to fund the money for solving environmental problems.
For instance
, German governors introduced special taxes for the green economy. The other solution can be a media
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "resource"?
resources
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the TV and read the newspapers, they can invite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
eco-friendly products and foods.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should
be initiated
to protect the nature.

To conclude
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are reckoned
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the administration should save the environment,
personally
, In my opinion, I believe that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
attention to the surrounding world.
In addition
to this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest the money for conservation.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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