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some people say that plying sports helps to prepare children for their future work, while others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

some people say that plying sports helps to prepare children for their future work, while others disagree. Drwm
Whenever there is a question related to sports and its importance for the individual lives, there are divided opinions. A few believe that it is create a base for the upcoming years for the kids; while, others says that there is no connection between professional life and playing these games. Therefore, ahead of my preference both the views must be discussed. Those who agree to former opinion they have their own claims. Most importantly, they have faith that these kind of games create a sportsmen spirit. By this they mean, in the competitive world to survive it is necessary to keep fighting and never loose hope. This kind of optimistic behavior only be develop by playing different games. As it not only create the compete skill but also develop the different strategy to solve the particular problem. To illustrate, as per survey those who play the game such as chess have better concentration level than those who do not play. Therefore, there is a direct connection between sports and success in future. Nevertheless, the other groups have their owe arguments. To begin with, these kind of games demands great physique to play and to maintain it they require proper diet which is not affordable to each and everyone. Moreover, unfortunately during their childhood period if they play these types of sports and they have any accident then the outcome will be the worse. This not only makes the individual liable to someone but also restrict to certain task in their professional life. Thus, rather challenging the childhood period it is better to enjoy this and be a hard work man and get a success. To draw up curtain and offer my position, I agree to both the views partially. As the sports create athletic behavior and competitive spirit, but also there are certain dangers such as permanent disability and movement restriction of body parts. So, I believe both should be considered and taken into account before coming to any conclusion.
Whenever there is a question related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and its importance for the individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, there
are divided
opinions. A few believe that it is
Consider using a past participle here: "created".
create
a base for the upcoming years for the kids; while, others says that there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
professional life and playing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Therefore
, ahead of my preference both the views
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be discussed
.

Those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to former opinion they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
claims. Most
importantly
, they have faith that
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
a sportsmen spirit. By this they mean, in the competitive world to survive it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fighting and never loose hope. This kind of optimistic behavior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
Consider using a past participle here: "developed".
develop
by playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. As it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'compete' is correct. If 'compete' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the compete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
develop the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
strategy to solve the particular problem. To illustrate, as per survey those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
the game such as chess have better concentration level than those who do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
.
Therefore
, there is a direct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and success
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

Nevertheless
, the other groups have their owe arguments. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
demands great physique to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
and to maintain it they require proper diet which is not affordable to each and
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
.
Moreover
, unfortunately during their childhood period if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
these types of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sports and
they have any accident then the outcome will be the worse. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the individual liable to someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
restrict to certain task in their professional life.
Thus
,
rather
challenging the childhood period it is better to enjoy this and be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a success.

To draw up curtain and offer my position, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to both the views
partially
. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
athletic behavior and competitive spirit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there are certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
such as permanent disability and movement restriction of body parts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I believe both should
be considered
and taken into account
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to any conclusion.
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IELTS essay some people say that plying sports helps to prepare children for their future work, while others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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