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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. VV7w
Now a days everyone has a very busy life. it is very hard to have a free time. Specially kids are so much involve in their studies and often get spare time. some people believe that whenever children have free time they should be motivated by their parents to participate in some co-curricular activities. However, there is another point of view which suggest that it will be beneficial for youngsters to do things according to their taste and aptitude. First discuss the narrative that parents should guide their offsprings to choose hobbies or activities for their lesuire time. Yes it will be important for better upbringing of kids. Because in this way they not only have check and balance on their activities but also it will enhace their social abilities. They will learn how to deal and behave with people and team work. On the other hand there is an opinion that children should have freedom how to spend time. It has its own consequences, in a positive way definitely it is good if someone have liberty to do things upto his or her aptitude. Because in this way a child can show his/ her full potential and sometimes such hobbies become professions. There are numerous examples of artists, musicians, singers even doctors and engineers who have passion of their professions since childhood. Also in this way children have better exposure and learn from their mistakes. But on the contrary if juveniles let to do whatever they want they may indulge in bad habits. In conclusion both these point ic views have pros and cons. Though in group activities children develop collaboration and team effort skills. But sometime to much influencial attitude of parents may supress inner abilities of kids. Similarly unnecessary independence could spoil them. So there should be a balance approach.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
everyone has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to have a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Specially
kids are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much involve in their studies and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they should
be motivated
by their parents to participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
co-curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
However
, there is another point of view which suggest that it will be beneficial for youngsters to do things according to their taste and aptitude.
First
discuss the narrative that parents should guide their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
to choose hobbies or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
lesuire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Yes it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for better upbringing of kids.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in this way they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
and balance on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it will
Possible spelling mistake found.
enhace
their social abilities. They will learn how to deal and behave with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and team work.
On the other hand
there is an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have freedom how to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
consequences, in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way definitely it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
if someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
liberty to do things
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
aptitude.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in this way a child can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
his/ her full potential and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
such hobbies become professions. There are numerous examples of artists, musicians, singers even doctors and engineers who have passion of their professions since childhood.
Also
in this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have better exposure and learn from their mistakes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the contrary
if juveniles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
to do whatever they want they may indulge in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.
In conclusion
both these point
Possible spelling mistake found.
ic
views have pros and cons. Though in group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop collaboration and team effort
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
sometime
Did you mean "too"?
to
much
Possible spelling mistake found.
influencial
attitude of parents may
Possible spelling mistake found.
supress
inner abilities of kids.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
unnecessary independence could spoil them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there should be a balance approach.
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IELTS essay Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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