Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in a cinema v.16

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in a cinema v. 16
Nowadays it is argued that watching movies in a cinema is not demanded as people have some personal devices such as laptops to watch, while others think That watching in a cinema is more enjoyable, which is not comparable. I lean a little bit toward the second view. This essay will discuss that although there are many people who prefer to watch at home on their own devices seeing a film in a cinema is undeniable. Today, the number of devices that technology provides for us is increasing and the majority of people have many of them like smartphones, tablets CD players and So forth. Besides, people have busy schedules these days and there is no enough time to go out. So, in regard to these circumstances and these home facilities, many people tend to just buy a film and see it, which is more convenient for them. From another perspective, cinema plays an important role in entertaining people. There is a great deal of evidence to support this. A recent survey by the US, reinforces the importance of being in a company and friendly atmosphere to release our negative emotions. It is also recommended to see movies in a cinema because of its indirect impact on social skills improvement. To conclude, despite the fact that seeing films at home seems more comfortable, especially in the lack of time, the advantages of going to the cinema should be considered. My own view is that each person should take circumstances into account and it is possible, it is better to spend leisure time in cinema rather than watching films on your own.
Nowadays it
is argued
that watching movies in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is not demanded as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal devices such as laptops to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think


That watching in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is more enjoyable, which is not comparable. I lean a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
toward the second view. This essay will discuss that although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
at home on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
devices seeing a film in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is undeniable.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the number of devices that technology provides for us is increasing and the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them like smartphones, tablets CD players and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
forth.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have busy schedules these days and there is no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to go out.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in regard to these circumstances and these home facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a film and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it, which is more convenient for them.

From another perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There is a great deal of evidence to support this. A recent survey by the US, reinforces the importance of being in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and friendly atmosphere to release our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions. It is
also
recommended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
movies in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its indirect impact on social
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "skills'" or "skill's"?
skills
improvement.

To conclude
, despite the fact that seeing films at home seems more comfortable,
especially
in the lack of time, the advantages of going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
should
be considered
. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view is that each person should take circumstances into account and it is possible, it is better to spend leisure time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
rather
than watching films on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in a cinema v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts