Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v.29

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 29
It has been observed that many museums take some kind of money for entrance. But is it necessary to do so? . Let us discuss about its advantages and disadvantages to know further about this topic. Museums, plays important role in the society. They make the people aware about their long forgotten history. History is told through pictures, paintings and statues due to which many children find it amusing. To keep everything clean and composed the management at these museums have to bear heavy expenses and for that they charge these fees. We cannot imagine a society without the museums. Also, there are certain disadvantages to put a fee counter. Everyone cannot access to the their history. Some people do not want to spend money on something which happened in the past. It takes an eye for these kind of things and everyone does not have it. These people might find it boring and a waste of time. Since museums are educated about the past, they should get some help from the Government. Without any knowledge of past the place will lose its credibility for tourism purposes as well. However, to conclude, I must say that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Museums has a vital place in the society. It teaches us about who we were and it is very important to know our background. It takes heavy expenses to maintain these museums. Hence, it is quite important for museums charge fees so that they can pay for the betterment and even expansion of the museum.
It has
been observed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of money for entrance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
is it necessary to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
Did you mean simply "discuss its"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about its
advantages and disadvantages to know
further
about this topic.

Museums, plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the society. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware about their long forgotten history. History is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
through pictures, paintings and statues due to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children find it amusing. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
everything clean and composed the management at these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear heavy expenses and for that they charge these fees. We cannot imagine a society without the museums.

Also
, there are certain disadvantages to put a fee counter. Everyone cannot access to
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their history" or "the history"?
the their history
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not want to spend money on something which happened in the past. It takes an eye for
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of things and everyone does not have it. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might find it boring and a waste of time. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are educated
about the past, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
. Without any knowledge of past the place will lose its credibility for tourism purposes
as well
.

However
,
to conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "museum has".
Museums has
a vital place in the society. It teaches us about who we were and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to know our background. It takes heavy expenses to maintain these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
Hence
, it is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
charge fees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can pay for the betterment and even expansion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 29

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts