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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. n0Ml
t is true that there are no limitations in languages and generations of music. While genres of music can be different from person to person, I strongly believe that music plays a crucial role in improving the relationship of human beings. On the one hand, music has a great influence on every aspect of life. Though there were many changes in society, music adapting to human perceptions is appreciated in this day and age. For example, a song called Heal the world composed by Micheal Jackson in the 19th century carrying the message of peace and humanity is still mentioned to raise the awareness of the following generations about moral values. Moreover, a masterpiece written by Taylor Swift, namely Lover, has reached far over 200 million watching on Youtube since it reflexes profoundly the emotions of people who are falling in love. On the other hand, music helps people live in harmony with one another. The first reason is everyone has an equal right to take part in a public concert and enjoy compositions. Therefore, people have more chances to integrate and adapt to a new environment by engaging in local activities regardless of ages and nationalities. Another reason is music can be a great tool/asset to make friends with strangers. For example, to break out the monotonous atmosphere at the first meeting, it is a good way to embark on a warm song or hold a musical instrument exchange, which young generations are likely to do. In conclusion, it is impossible to neglect the significant impacts that music bringing us, especially getting on well with people from all walks of life. Votes
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
t
is true that there are no limitations in languages and generations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. While genres of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from person to person, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays a crucial role in improving the relationship of human beings.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has a great influence on every aspect of life. Though there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
adapting to human perceptions
is appreciated
in this day and age.
For example
, a song called Heal the world composed by Micheal Jackson in the 19th century carrying the message of peace and humanity is
still
mentioned to raise the awareness of the following generations about moral values.
Moreover
, a masterpiece written by Taylor Swift,
namely
Lover, has reached far over 200 million watching on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
since it reflexes
profoundly
the emotions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are falling in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in harmony with one another. The
first
reason is everyone has an equal right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in a public concert and enjoy compositions.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more chances to integrate and adapt to a new environment by engaging in local activities regardless of ages and nationalities. Another reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can be a great tool/asset to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with strangers.
For example
, to break out the monotonous atmosphere at the
first
meeting, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to embark on a warm song or hold a musical instrument exchange, which young generations are likely to do.

In conclusion
, it is impossible to neglect the significant impacts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
bringing us,
especially
getting on well with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all walks of life.

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IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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