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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? mm5L
It is often said that music has the power to connect people, regardless of culture and age. I strongly believe that it is true, and will give reasons below. Music can reach across cultural and national boundaries and bring people together. The best example for that would be the Live Aid Concert, which was in the 1980s. Two events were held simultaneously in the US and the UK. They atracted global audience, and the objective was to raise funds for famine relief in Ethyopia. They were a big success, both in term of the number of people who watched them and the impact on international public awareness of famine. I could say that this kind of music was the global language of the planet. Moreover, music has the ability to connect peple from different generations. Most of people would love to listen to memorable melody or a beautiful singing voice. For example, some music shows such as The X factor or The Voice are the popular programs which attract people from different ages. Those can be the best shows for children, parents or even grandparents to gather and share moment together. I can argue that this form of entertainment might be the best thing to bring people together. In conclusion, music has the power to create shared experience between people, regardless of culture and ages.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has the power to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, regardless of culture and age. I
strongly
believe that it is true, and will give reasons below.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can reach across cultural and national boundaries and bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together. The best example for that would be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Live
Aid Concert, which was in the 1980s. Two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
were held
simultaneously
in the US and the UK. They
Possible spelling mistake found.
atracted
global audience, and the objective was to raise funds for famine relief in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ethyopia
. They were a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
success, both in term of the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
them and the impact on international public awareness of famine. I could say that this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
was the global language of the planet.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has the ability to connect
Possible spelling mistake found.
peple
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations. Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to listen to memorable melody or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
singing voice.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
such as The X factor or The Voice are the popular programs which attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages. Those can be the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
for children, parents or even grandparents to gather and share moment together. I can argue that this form of entertainment might be the best thing to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has the power to create shared experience between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, regardless of culture and ages.
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IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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