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some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children . to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Reading stories in books is a basic way for children to obtain knowledge and open their minds. Although watching TV and playing computer games are also popular educational methods among children, I believe that reading books is better and offers more advantages than watching TV and playing computer games. Learning by reading is more effective compared to TV and games because it is an active activity. Like any other skill, reading takes practice. To fully understand the content, children have to give all their attention to the text. Also, more than just understanding a certain topic, children tend to develop imagination, as they imagine the characters from the description they read, which helps them to learn more efficiently and deeply in the future. Furthermore, reading stories also helps children master language development, as by reading stories, children learn pronunciation and vocabulary. lt also increases a child's attention span, and develops the ability to concentrate. lt develops children's ability to express themselves more confidently, easily, and clearly In spoken and written terms. lt develops and fosters a child's natural curiosity On the other hand, the knowledge disseminated by vivid pictures on screen is easier for children to imbibe, but too many moving objects and colorful images can distract children, especially some young kids, from other important tasks. Playing computer games also can be very addicting, as a result of which children fail to do their homework. Additionally, spending too much time before a computer screen or watching TV can lead to health problems such as shortsightedness. Therefore, reading is better for both efficiency and health purpose. ln conclusion, it can be reiterated that reading stories in book is better than watching W and playing on computers, as it is a more effective way to learn and is better for health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
stories in books is a basic way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to obtain knowledge and open their minds. Although

watching TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer games are
also
popular educational methods among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I believe

that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and offers more advantages than watching TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer games.

Learning by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is more effective compared to TV and games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is an active activity. Like any

other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
takes practice. To
fully
understand the content,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give all their attention

to the text.
Also
, more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
understanding a certain topic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
imagination, as

they imagine the characters from the description they read, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to learn more
efficiently
and

deeply
in the future.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
stories
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
master language development, as by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
stories,

children learn pronunciation and vocabulary.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
also
increases a child's attention span, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develops
the

ability to concentrate.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develops
children's ability to express themselves more
confidently
,
easily
, and

clearly
In spoken and written terms.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
lt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develops
and fosters a child's natural curiosity

On the other hand
, the knowledge disseminated by vivid pictures on screen is easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to imbibe,

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
moving objects and colorful images can distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young kids, from

other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tasks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
computer games
also
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
addicting,
as a result
of which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
fail

to do their homework.
Additionally
, spending too much time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a computer screen or watching TV can

lead to health problems such as shortsightedness.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for both efficiency and

health purpose.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ln
conclusion, it can
be reiterated
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
stories in book is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than watching W and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
on

computers, as it is a more effective way to learn and is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for health.

IELTS essay some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
299 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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