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Some people say that museums should charge for admission.However,others say they should not.Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people say that museums should charge for admission. However, others say they should not. mnAK
While some people emphasize that museums have an admission charge, others are of the opinion that entrance to them should be free of cost. I support the former view because such a fee will not only provide financial support to museums, but also benefit their staff. On the one hand, various factors are there why a section of society advocates that museums should have an entry fee, and I also favor this. First and foremost, the management of museums can earn a great deal of money. This money can be used for various purposes such as renovating the premise and organizing cultural events as well ad exhibitions, which can assist in maintaining the building for a longer time and offering satisfactory service to the visitors. To cite an example, since the local council of Bathinda city, started charging an entrance fee to visit Bathinda Museum, the condition of it has greatly improved. Another point is that the staff including archivists, curators, and managers of the museums can make a living with the help of earned money from the visitors. However, If museums had not additional source of income, many of them would be devoid of staff members. On the other hand, it is often argued by some that entrance to the building should be chargeless. The first argument behind their ideology is that granted an entrance free might have a negative effect on the admission figures. This might be because some sections of society including the poor, students, and the elderly who do not have enough to pay for the entrance might stop visiting. Take london Museum for example, where no fee was taken from the visitors in the past, but since the management commenced booking admission tickets, there has been a significant fall in museum-goers. The other is to affect the popularity of a museum over others, which means depriving people of lack an opportunity to access most of the vital information about history, art, and science. This may eventually put the existence of museums at stake. In conclusion, although people are divided on different opinions, I firmly believe that imposing charge while visiting museums can be hugely beneficial in terms of generating revenue for a museum and its emplyees.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
emphasize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have an admission charge, others are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
to them should be free of cost. I support the former view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide financial support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
benefit their staff. On the one hand, various factors are there why a section of society advocates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should have an entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
, and I
also
favor this.
First
and foremost, the management of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
can earn a great deal of money. This money can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for various purposes such as renovating the premise and organizing cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
as well
ad exhibitions, which can assist in maintaining the building for a longer time and offering satisfactory service to the visitors. To cite an example, since the local council of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bathinda
city,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
charging an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
to visit
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bathinda
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
, the condition of it has
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. Another point is that the staff including archivists, curators, and managers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of earned money from the visitors.
However
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
had not additional source of income,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them would be devoid of staff members. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
to the building should be
Possible spelling mistake found.
chargeless
. The
first
argument behind their ideology is that granted an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
free might have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the admission figures. This might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sections of society including the poor, students, and the elderly who do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to pay for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
visiting. Take
Possible spelling mistake found.
london
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
for example
, where no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
was taken
from the visitors in the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
since the management commenced booking admission tickets, there has been a significant fall in museum-goers. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is to affect the popularity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
over others, which means depriving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of lack an opportunity to access most of the vital information about history, art, and science. This may
eventually
put the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
at stake.
In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are divided
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions, I
firmly
believe that imposing charge while visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
can be
hugely
beneficial in terms of generating revenue for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and its
Possible spelling mistake found.
emplyees
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that museums should charge for admission. However, others say they should not.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
371 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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