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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? OoGM
Technology is evolving day by day. Due to the advancement of the technology different social media are being popular day by day. However, many people use social media to share different unwanted site to people who can leak their personal information. In this essay, I will be discussing advantage and disadvantage of social media. In the one hand, nowadays, social media is used to carry day to day activities. There are a lot of benefits od socialmedia like sharing ideas, knowledge etc. In the other words, social media can be useful for buying clothes through online. While, social media can be used for listening, broadcasting news ideas. In short, social media is making people closer day by day. For instances, According to the recent study in USA it is found that the most of the people do not prefer to go shopping centre to buy materials, they use social media. In the other hand, social media can be beneficial however, nowadays, many people use social media as entertainment and share all personal information to strangers. In other words, they use unverified social links which may take their personal information which can hamper their personal life. Moreover, nowadays, many socialmedia site sell their personal information to other company, from which other company can easily visible use personal information. for instance, Recently, it was found that google saled their user information to other companies which directly effect the China government so, to avoid the personal information privacy china stop using google application. In conclusion, In my opinion advantage of social media outweigh disadvantage. Social media is useful for sharing link and information to other. Moreover, social media is helping people to connect with different country people.
Technology is evolving day by day. Due to the advancement of the technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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social
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media
are being popular day by day.
However
,
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many
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
unwanted site to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can leak their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. In this essay, I will be discussing advantage and disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

In the one hand, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to carry day to day activities. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefits od
Possible spelling mistake found.
socialmedia
like sharing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, knowledge etc. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can be useful for buying clothes through online. While,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for listening, broadcasting news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer day by day. For instances, According to the recent study
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
it
is found
that the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not prefer to go shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
materials, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can be beneficial
however
, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as entertainment and share all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to strangers. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
unverified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
links which may take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which can hamper their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life.
Moreover
, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
socialmedia
site sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, from which
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other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can
easily
visible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, Recently, it
was found
that google
Possible spelling mistake found.
saled
their user
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which
directly
effect the China
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, to avoid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
privacy china
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using google application.

In conclusion
, In my opinion advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
outweigh disadvantage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is useful for sharing link and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to connect with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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