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Some people say that money spent on the protection of wild animals should be spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that money spent on the protection of wild animals should be spent on the human population. 700N3
Human and wild animals are both living on the same planet, our lives are influenced by each other. Government should ban building more buildings and structures in our society. Preventing wild animals from getting environmental destruction, I agree that we should pay more attention on protecting wild animals. Protecting animals is beneficial for all individuals. For example, animals can maintain natural environment in balance. If some animals go out of existence, such as insects and birds, people would probably lose the importance of natural resources. Other reason, we need to eat animals or making a living by them, animals help human not only to earn money but also to make an experiment on animals with the medicine. It is obvious that animals are essential for us, therefore, everyone should take action to protect their habitat and lives. There are some simple things that we can do. Using recyclable products to reduce the usage of plastic, besides, promoting and educate adults and children about animals which have a positive impact on in the environment. Most importantly, all individuals can’t hurt or kill any animals on purposes. All in all, governments and people should love and cherish our nature and environment. Although animals don’t look like human, we still should take them as the same lives. Moreover, animals can bring a lot of benefits for us to boost our earth to stay long life.
Human and wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are both living on the same planet, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are influenced
by each other.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should ban building more buildings and structures in our society. Preventing wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from getting environmental destruction, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we should pay more attention on protecting wild animals.

Protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is beneficial for all individuals.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can maintain natural environment in balance. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
go out of existence, such as insects and birds,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
probably
lose the importance of natural resources. Other reason, we need to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
or making a living by them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
human not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to earn money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an experiment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
with the medicine.

It is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are essential for us,
therefore
, everyone should take action to protect their habitat and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
simple things that we can do. Using recyclable products to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the usage of plastic,
besides
, promoting and educate adults and children about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on in the environment. Most
importantly
, all individuals can’t hurt or kill any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
on purposes.

All in all,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and cherish our nature and environment. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
don’t look like human, we
still
should take them as the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for us to boost our earth to stay long life.

IELTS essay Some people say that money spent on the protection of wild animals should be spent on the human population.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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