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some people say that money is a best gift to give it to teenagers. some disagree with it. discuss both views and give your opinion?

some people say that money is a best gift to give it to teenagers. some disagree with it. RNwKP
it is believed that money can play an excellent role as a gift in the life of Adolescence. Having money rather than other gifts in puberty is useful to carry out some immediate needs, However, at the same time, the excessive amount of money lead youngsters into bad habits. Initially, money can play a significant role to fulfil the basic needs of youngsters. Instead of other gifts if cash is given to them, they can buy things of their choice rather than asking parents for having more. Similarly, having money in teenage years can help individuals to stand them up in a society to make their visions true. For example: if in teenage years individuals have extra cash that they can spend to learn other skills, to secure their future and boost their abilities is worthy. On the flip side, having an extra amount of wealth in teenage years, sometimes lead on the way to spoil youngsters by having a bad company that cause to put them for the addiction of drugs such as Alcohol and many others. Although youngsters have the sense to recognise good or bad in society still the attractions of the world with the amount of cash mislead them from their future plans and starts to waste money. Moreover, if the trend of wastage of money starts by teenage, individuals never learn the value of money in their lives and they always depend on their family and friends to fulfil their needs. In my opinion, I know that teenagers have a need for finance to satisfy their wants, but it not be in a mass amount, that diminishs their future. To conclude, money, as a gift is good of its usage, is appropriate otherwise if teenagers getting into bad habits nothing bad than it.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can play an excellent role as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
in the life of Adolescence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
in puberty is useful to carry out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
immediate needs,
However
, at the same time, the excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
lead youngsters into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habits.

Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can play a significant role to fulfil the basic needs of youngsters.
Instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
if cash is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things of their choice
rather
than asking parents for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in teenage years can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals to stand them up in a society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their visions true.
For example
: if in teenage years individuals have extra cash that they can spend to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, to secure their future and boost their abilities is worthy.

On the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
an extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of wealth in teenage years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lead on the way to spoil youngsters by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that cause to put them for the
The usual preposition for 'addiction' is "to." Did you mean, "addiction to drugs"?
addiction of drugs
such as Alcohol and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others. Although youngsters have the sense to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
in society
still
the attractions of the world with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of cash mislead them from their future plans and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Moreover
, if the trend of wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
by teenage, individuals never learn the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives and
they always depend on their family and friends to fulfil their needs.

In my opinion, I know that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have a need for finance to satisfy their wants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it not
Did you mean "is"?
be
in a mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
, that
Possible spelling mistake found.
diminishs
their future.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of its usage, is appropriate
otherwise
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
getting into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "habits'" or "habit's"?
habits
nothing
Use "worse" to make a comparison with this adjective.
bad
than it.
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IELTS essay some people say that money is a best gift to give it to teenagers. some disagree with it.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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