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Social media has a significant impact on human mood and behavior

Social media has a significant impact on human mood and behavior 15k7X
Have you ever thought that social media influences us in some ways? As social media constantly surrounds us. People are always on their phones or laptops updating statuses, posting pictures, liking things, and messaging back and forth with friends. Obviously, social media has significant negative impacts on our moods and behaviours as well. It causes people to compare their lives to others and Cyber bullying is also taken place. In addition, Children can imitate bad behaviours from social media. Therefore, I believe that social media has impacts on human moods and behaviours. First, on social media, most people usually post perfect pictures, which show that they have a good life. So just think about someone uses social media and sees those perfect pictures. They may think why they don’t have anything just like those people on social media, why no one comments on their pictures like those people, wonder if they bad or unworthy or not and comparing themselves to others. According to a study looking at this topic, it turned out that feeling that another person is better than you make you feel bad. Similarly, when they feel envious, they tend to post more and more just to present their lives much better. Undoubtedly, social media enhances comparison factor, jealousy and decreases our self-esteem which all result in feelings of depression. Second, cyber bullying is all around us as a result of the rise of social media. Many people are cyber bullied because the bullies can target more than one person at a time. Furthermore, cyber bullying is so simple that it takes only a few minutes to take place. In fact, cyber bullying can cause serious damage to people. When a person sees an embarrassing post about them on social media that is cyber bullying. They may be depressed resulting from they have been bullied on social media. Unfortunately, in our world people do not realize how much damage they can do to another just through social media. Cyberbullying can cause people to feel depressed or have suicidal thoughts so this will mean that social media literally affects our mental health. Third, Social media also has impacts on human behaviours in many ways. For example, there are many interesting applications nowadays, then, imagine that a person is addicted to those applications, they will waste their time on those apps as well as their homework can’t be done. That could result in poor academic performance. Besides, many people easily become celebrities through social media. Unquestionably, when they get famous, they are likely to post perfect pictures and are obsessed with their appearance in order to remain their ‘perfect’ appearances. Unluckily, some are turning into self-obsessed and narcissistic. Also, children can imitate bad behaviours from someone or celebrities on social media if parents don’t carefully pay attention on their children when using social media. To summarize, social media has significant impacts on human moods and behaviours, as like I said that it can decrease our self-esteem, enhance comparison factor and jealousy, cause depression, anxiety and other disorders. Of course, It causes us to have poor academic performances and we can turn into self-obsessed and narcissistic. As you can see social media has many disadvantages; therefore, when we use social media, we must use it carefully. We must not bully one another and we shouldn’t attach to the celebrity perfect life and we should recognize that no one in the world has a perfect life and everyone has his own hardship. Likewise, we shouldn’t compare our lives to others for the reason that we are all special in our own way.
Have you ever
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thought
that
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social
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media
influences us in
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some
ways?
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As
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social
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media
constantly
surrounds us.
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People
are always on their phones or laptops updating statuses, posting
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pictures
, liking things, and messaging back and forth with friends.
Obviously
,
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social
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media
has significant
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negative
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impacts
on our moods and
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behaviours
as well
. It
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causes
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people
to compare their
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lives
to others and
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Cyber
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bullying
is
also
taken place.
In addition
, Children can imitate
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bad
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behaviours
from
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social
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media
.
Therefore
, I believe that
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social
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media
has
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impacts
on human moods and
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behaviours
.

First
, on
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social
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media
, most
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people
usually
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post
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perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
, which
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show
that they have a
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good
life.
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So
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just
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think
about someone
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uses
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social
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media
and
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sees
those
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perfect
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pictures
. They may
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think
why they don’t have anything
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just
like those
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people
on
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social
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media
, why no one comments on their
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pictures
like those
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people
, wonder if they
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bad
or unworthy or not and comparing themselves to others. According to a study looking at this topic, it turned out that feeling that another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is better than you
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make
you feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
.
Similarly
, when they feel envious, they tend to
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post
more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to present their
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lives
much better.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
enhances comparison factor, jealousy and decreases our self-esteem which all result in feelings of depression.

Second,
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cyber
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bullying
is all around us
as a result
of the rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
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media
.
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Many
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people
are
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullied
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because
the bullies can target more than one
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person
at a time.
Furthermore
,
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cyber
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bullying
is
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so
simple that it takes
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only
a few minutes to take place. In fact,
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cyber
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bullying
can
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cause
serious damage to
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people
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
a
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person
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sees
an embarrassing
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post
about them on
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social
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media
that is
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cyber
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bullying
. They may
be depressed
resulting from they have
been bullied
on
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social
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media
. Unfortunately, in our world
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people
do not realize how much damage they can do to another
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just
through
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social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Cyberbullying can
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cause
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people
to feel depressed or have suicidal thoughts
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so
this will mean that
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social
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media
literally
affects our mental health.

Third,
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Social
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media
also
has
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impacts
on human
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behaviours
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
interesting applications nowadays, then, imagine that a
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person
is addicted
to those applications, they will waste their time on those apps
as well
as their homework can’t
be done
. That could result in poor academic performance.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
become celebrities through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Unquestionably
, when they
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get
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famous
, they are likely to
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post
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perfect
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pictures
and
are obsessed
with their appearance in order to remain their
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‘perfect’
appearances.
Unluckily
,
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some
are turning into self-obsessed and narcissistic.
Also
, children can imitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
from someone or celebrities on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
if parents don’t
carefully
pay attention on their children when using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on human moods and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, as like I said that it can decrease our self-esteem, enhance comparison factor and jealousy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
depression, anxiety and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
disorders.
Of course
, It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
us to have poor academic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
performances and
we can turn into self-obsessed and narcissistic. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages;
therefore
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
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social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, we
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must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
carefully
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not bully one
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
another and
we shouldn’t attach to the celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
we should recognize that no one in the world has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
life and everyone has his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hardship.
Likewise
, we shouldn’t compare our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to others for the reason that we are all special in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way.
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IELTS essay Social media has a significant impact on human mood and behavior

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
600 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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