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Some people believ that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. this can benefits teenagers and community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some individual consider that adolescent need to learn social work in their leisure time without any salary. Many people believe that it can be beneficially for both societies and youngester's. I agree with former statement. I will describe that this views with related example in the upcoming paragraphs. There are many benefits for teenagers. Firstly, teenagers can learn many things such as, team work, social experience, problem solving, adaptability, conflict resolution, leadership and so on. I believe that these kind of practical skills could not be provided by schools, even these experience teenagers can get only in the society. For example, In Japan, the number of schools are provide experience of society work which help to children in their future life. Additionally, communities get many advantages of teenagers because they are very active and energetic. The number of organization keep volunteer who are strong both side physical and mentally. For example, In UAE, during this coronavirus pandemic, many health and food companies were appointed the teenagers as volunteers who provides good services to community. To conclude, I believe that teenagers should learn many things during social works which help them in their future decision, and community can get advantage during of any kind of crisis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Did you mean “individuals”?
individual
consider that adolescent need to learn social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their leisure time without any salary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it can be
beneficially
for both societies and
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngester
's. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with former statement. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
that this views with related example in the upcoming paragraphs.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things such as, team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, social experience,
This noun or verb “problem-solving” is spelled with a hyphen.
problem solving
, adaptability, conflict resolution, leadership and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. I believe that
‘These’ does not seem to match the singular noun ‘kind’. Did you mean “this kind” or “these kinds”?
these kind
of practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
could not
be provided
by schools, even these experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the society.
For example
, In Japan, the number of schools are
Consider using either the past participle “provided” or the present participle “providing” here.
provide
experience of society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to children in their future life.

Additionally
, communities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
active and energetic. The number of organization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
volunteer who are strong both side physical and mentally.
For example
, In UAE, during this coronavirus pandemic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health and food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
were appointed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
as volunteers who
Did you mean “provide”? Alternatively, check whether the singular of ‘volunteers’ should be used.
provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
services to community.

To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things during social works which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their future decision, and community can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advantage during of any kind of crisis.
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IELTS essay Some people believ that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. this can benefits teenagers and community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
205 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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