Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT MEN ARE NATURALLY MORE COMPETITIVE THAN WOMEN

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT MEN ARE NATURALLY MORE COMPETITIVE THAN WOMEN 30L3l
In our contemporary society, women are given equality as well as men but still some people think that males have tendency to compete more easily than females. I strongly object to this opinion by some reasons that I will discuss in this essay. On the one hand, women have and are being proving their strength in harsh and arduous society for the weak by executing every assigned task in an excellent way. For instance, in recent days, we can see women as metro train drivers, a pilot or the president of a country. Moreover anything males dominated, today females can accomplish, even better, according to analysis of the data, now that women think more vigilantly than men when making decisions. Today, growing number of women have confirmed their status not inferior to men. On the other hand, women have also demonstrated their competitive spirit in the educational sphere, outperforming men in practically every competitive exam. For example, my school’s valedictorians for entrance examination and graduation are entirely females, therefore, it indicated that they are unquestionably pay off than males. Besides, balancing personal and professional life are key for any working professionals. Many researchers suggest men are not capable in managing life than women. A typical example of this is our mother, she is always the one who not only works as a housewife but also as a worker while our father just needs to work. To summarize, I believe that women are no less competitive than males and have successfully achieved their worth in every field relating to business and family life.
In our contemporary society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equality
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
have tendency to compete more
easily
than females. I
strongly
object to this opinion by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons that I will discuss in this essay.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have and are being proving their strength in harsh and arduous society for the weak by executing every assigned task
Consider replacing "in an excellent way" with the adverb for "excellent"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an excellent way
.
For instance
, in recent days, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as metro train drivers, a pilot or the president of a country.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
anything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
dominated,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
females can accomplish, even better, according to analysis of the data,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more
vigilantly
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
when making decisions.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have confirmed their status not inferior to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have
also
demonstrated their competitive spirit in the educational sphere, outperforming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in
practically
every competitive exam.
For example
, my school’s valedictorians for entrance examination and graduation are
entirely
females,
therefore
, it indicated that they are
unquestionably
pay
Use "(off)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
off
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
Besides
, balancing personal and professional life are key for any working professionals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
researchers suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are not capable in managing life than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. A typical example of this is our mother, she is always the one who not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
works as a housewife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
as a worker while our father
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
needs to work.

To summarize
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are no less competitive than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and have
successfully
achieved their worth in every field relating to business and family life.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT MEN ARE NATURALLY MORE COMPETITIVE THAN WOMEN

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts