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Describe a memorable experience in your life

Describe a memorable experience in your life VyyB3

For me, the most memorable experience in my life was probably the day when I received the notification of the results of the 10th entrance exam. I still vividly remember that day, a chilly evening after the afternoon rain of summer vacation. I was sitting in front of the computer screen to prepare some good sample literature essays for the new school year when suddenly my aunt called and congratulated me on passing high school. I was surprised at first, but at that moment I realized that I really passed. My feeling is unspeakably happy. You wouldn’t imagine how much fun it would be to get through some of the top schools you’ve always wanted to attend. My mother was very proud and promised to give me a gift too. I even called my dad, excitedly showing off how good her daughter was. My dad couldn’t stop laughing and he even said that some of his co-workers had called to congratulate me on getting a high rank. That day was really the happiest day of my life because I did not disappoint my parents as well as the joyful atmosphere at that time, along with the excitement and anticipation of the day of admission.

For me, the most memorable experience in my life was probably
 the day when I received the notification of the results of the 10th entrance exam. I still
vividly
 remember that day, a chilly evening after the afternoon rain of summer vacation. I was sitting in front of the computer screen to prepare This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 sample literature essays for the new school year when suddenly
 my aunt called and congratulated me on passing high school. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was surprised
 at first
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 at that moment I realized that I really
 passed. My feeling is unspeakably
 happy. You wouldn’t imagine how much fun it would be to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 through If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?some
some of the
 top schools you’ve always wanted to attend. My mother was This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:extremelyimmenselysupremelysuperb
very
 proud and promised to give me a gift too. I even called my dad, excitedly
 showing off how This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 her daughter was. My dad couldn’t This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :terminateceasediscontinue
stop
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).laughing, and
laughing and
 he even said that This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 of his co-workers had called to congratulate me on getting a high rank. That day was really
 the happiest day of my life This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 I did not disappoint my parents as well
 as the joyful atmosphere at that time, along with the excitement and anticipation of the day of admission. 