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Some people say that international tourism is harmful to our society nowadays. Do you agree?

Some people say that international tourism is harmful to our society nowadays. Do you agree? Wyqd5
According to a bull market of international tourism, the majority of states regard international tourism as a detrimental industry. I assume that this is because of vandalism and overuse of resources. First of all, several abroad visitors tend to indulge regardless of appropriate attitudes. They exploit facilities and infrastructures without any respect. Therefore, a lot of countries are reluctant to be a host of tourism. Second of all, in order to travel all around the world, diverse types of resources such as fuels, electricity, and petroleum are essential. Indeed, annually many global research corporations have posted a huge amount of pollutant figures pertaining to international tourism, simultaneously showing an upward tendency. To alleviate these harmful effects, states and visitors should make a joint effort mindfully. Firstly, visitors should have an awareness of guidelines about how to protect relics, historical sites, and nature cautiously, while the government should offer the meticulous details in many languages to help foreigners' understanding of rules. Secondly, relatively small size tour groups would be better rather than the manifold population of groups, not distracting native residents. These sorts of fundamental and obvious thoughts and attitudes would lead to positive consequences significantly in the years to come. Besides, the onus mindset might bring our society of merits, decreasing drawbacks. To sum up, it is clear that scores of states affected by international tourists in lousy ways. However, upgrading tourists' awareness and manners would result in prosperity in the tourism business economically and globally.
According to a bull market of
international
tourism
, the majority of states regard
international
tourism
as a detrimental industry. I assume that this is
because
of vandalism and overuse of resources.

First of all
, several abroad visitors tend to indulge regardless of appropriate attitudes. They exploit facilities and infrastructures without any respect.
Therefore
,
a lot of
countries are reluctant to be a host of
tourism
. Second of all, in order to travel all around the world, diverse types of resources such as fuels, electricity, and petroleum are essential.
Indeed
,
annually
many
global research corporations have posted a huge amount of pollutant figures pertaining to
international
tourism
,
simultaneously
showing an upward tendency.

To alleviate these harmful effects, states and visitors should
make
a joint effort
mindfully
.
Firstly
, visitors should have an awareness of guidelines about how to protect relics, historical sites, and nature
cautiously
, while the
government
should offer the meticulous
details
in
many
languages to
help
foreigners' understanding of
rules
.
Secondly
,
relatively
small
size tour groups would be better
rather
than the manifold population of groups, not distracting native residents. These sorts of fundamental and obvious thoughts and attitudes would lead to
positive
consequences
significantly
in the years to
come
.
Besides
, the onus mindset might bring our society of merits, decreasing drawbacks.

To sum up, it is
clear
that scores of states
affected
by
international
tourists in lousy ways.
However
, upgrading tourists' awareness and manners would result in prosperity in the
tourism
business
economically
and globally.
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IELTS essay Some people say that international tourism is harmful to our society nowadays. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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