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Some people say that in order to eliminate Certain diseases and prevent other diseases from occuring, we should change the way of living. Other say that improvement in the medical facilities can do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that in order to eliminate Certain diseases and prevent other diseases from occuring, we should change the way of living. Other say that improvement in the medical facilities can do that. 7p93A
Nowadays, people want to live a helathy during their life. It is irrefutably true that people should move certain diseases and maintain their health and people should change thier living style, whereas other believe that they can bring improve their medical facilities. The narrative ahead shall analyze both the details before reaching to a justified conclusion in the upcoming paragraph. Discussing the former view, there are those who seem to be convinced with the fact that people should change their life due to diseases. The first and foremost reason is that if people do not change their lifestyle, people can face big problem for their health as well as they should avoid fastfood and outside meal. Which can direct impact their health. For instance, in many countries people suffer from a lot of problem due to which they do not change their life style. Anylyzing yhe latter view there are individuals who are of the opinion that people can improve their medical facilities. The primary reason is that they take medicine on time as well take proper guidance. This is following due to the fact that if people take medicine as well as take proper guiadance from a docotr, it can have positive impact on their life. Consequently, people can improve their health. To exemplify, im many countries, people do not suffer from a lot of problem due to which take proper guaidance on time. To recapitulate, although, i support the first view, because i think all people who can improve their living style and take home made food instead of outside meal and fastfood. Another benefit to all, people who do not have money they can protect their health from changing their living style.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
helathy
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It is
irrefutably
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
certain diseases and maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
, whereas other believe that they can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their medical facilities. The narrative ahead shall analyze both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching to a justified conclusion in the upcoming paragraph. Discussing the former view, there are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
seem to
be convinced
with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to diseases. The
first
and foremost reason is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their lifestyle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as well
as they should avoid
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastfood
and outside meal.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
can direct impact their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of problems".
a lot of problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Anylyzing
Possible spelling mistake found.
yhe
latter view there are individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their medical facilities. The primary reason is that they take medicine on time
as well
take proper guidance. This is following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fact that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take medicine
as well
as take proper
Possible spelling mistake found.
guiadance
from a
Possible spelling mistake found.
docotr
, it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. To exemplify,
Possible spelling mistake found.
im
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not suffer from
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of problems".
a lot of problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which take proper
Possible spelling mistake found.
guaidance
on time. To recapitulate, although,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
support the
first
view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
and take home made food
instead
of outside meal and
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastfood
. Another benefit to all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have money they can protect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
from changing their living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that in order to eliminate Certain diseases and prevent other diseases from occuring, we should change the way of living. Other say that improvement in the medical facilities can do that.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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