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Some people say that hobbies should be educative and useful, while others believe that hobbies don’t have to be useful and they should help people relax. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that hobbies should be educative and useful, while others believe that hobbies don’t have to be useful and they should help people relax. lxp21
Over the world almost everyone has their own hobby. Many people thought that hobbies should be useful and educative but other people say that hobbies should be for fun, for getting into. In this essay I will try to discuss the both of ideas and i will give my own opinion to this topic. Presently, many people spend their spare time to hobbies. All hobbies may not be profitable. People work, they get tired and of course aim is take relax from some way then they take up their leisure persuit. Secondly, nowadays people do not add the reading book to their hobbies so we can say all pastime activities are not educative. Naturally, leisure persuits use to enjoy to take the rest. Some people have extremal hobbies it my be horrible for health bu they do it. Exactly, people want to enjoy with their pastime activities. On the other hand, kill the time by playing, swimming and others it is not good condition. People might be lazy after this activities. So if it is possible we have to attemt to have more useful and educative leisure persuit then we can do two things in one time, for instence learning languages, learning poems, reading books all of them are useful our knowledge. Currently, we can find the people who learn new things as pastime activity, they amuse themselfs by learning and their hobbies are appealing and captivating too. Just we have to interest in the useful and educative hobbies. To conclude, in my opinion at present time our hobbies should be useful. Nowadays we live for fun and we are losing our valuable time. Pastime activities are time - consuming activities so we have to value our time, everything should be useful for us
Over the world almost everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
and educative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
should be for fun, for getting into. In this essay I will try to discuss the both of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
Did you mean "I"?
i
will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion to this topic.

Presently
,
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many
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people
spend their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
may not be profitable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
work, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired and
of course
aim is take relax from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way then they take up their leisure
Possible spelling mistake found.
persuit
.
Secondly
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
the reading book to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can say all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pastime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are not educative.
Naturally
, leisure
Possible spelling mistake found.
persuits
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
The verb 'enjoy' is used with the gerund form: "enjoy taking".
enjoy to take
the rest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
extremal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
it
Did you mean "may be" or "might be"?
my be
horrible for health
Make sure that 'bu' is an abbreviation (bureau, bushel). Did you mean "by", "but", "bug", or "bus"?
bu
they do it. Exactly,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to enjoy with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pastime
activities.

On the other hand
, kill the
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time
by playing, swimming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
it is not
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good
condition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
might be lazy after
Did you mean "these"?
this
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activities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if it is possible we
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have to
Possible spelling mistake found.
attemt
to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
and educative leisure
Possible spelling mistake found.
persuit
Did you mean "than"?
then
we can do two things in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, for
Possible spelling mistake found.
instence
learning languages, learning poems, reading books all of them are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
our knowledge.
Currently
, we can find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who learn new things as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pastime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, they amuse
Possible spelling mistake found.
themselfs
by learning and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are appealing and captivating too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
and educative hobbies.

To conclude
, in my opinion at present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
. Nowadays we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fun and
we are losing our valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pastime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
value our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, everything should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
us
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IELTS essay Some people say that hobbies should be educative and useful, while others believe that hobbies don’t have to be useful and they should help people relax.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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