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Some people say that having our own home is more important than renting ones.

Some people say that having our own home is more important than renting ones. G9aOL
What makes this so? Firstly, one change that lends into this phenomenon is that more and more people prefer to live and settle down in one place for a long time because of the improvement of working environment or needs to bring their children up though consecutive education and so forth. In that regard, people would rather choose to purchase their own housing than paying money continuously for renting ones. What’s more, it is not only about money but also benefits from economic and emotional aspects. Economic wisely, most commonly housings are usually seen as assets which is able to turn into money no matter how long you would have lived there, albeit being treated with less value than it originally was. In addition to this, it also gives us a feeling of security since in our own house, it is no longer necessary to care about what you do but it is in renting apartment. From my personal view, this case could be a negative situation for environmental reasons. It can be often said that to build housings, arguably large amount of spaces are required. Given the current situation where more spaces have been occupied already in especially cities like Tokyo, the left option seems to cut down forests and to flatten there to build new ones. This is obviously detrimental to those ecosystems and flora and fauna. Apart from this, there is an alarming problem now which is that a lot of abandoned housings are still left, taking over potentially useful spaces. It also notoriously costs much money to demolish those buildings. Considering about those two adverse effects, that might be negative situation.
What
makes
this
so
?
Firstly
, one
change
that lends into this phenomenon is that more and more
people
prefer to
live
and settle down in one place for a long time
because
of the improvement of working environment or needs to bring their children up though consecutive education and
so
forth. In that regard,
people
would
rather
choose to
purchase
their
own
housing than paying
money
continuously
for renting
ones
. What’s more, it is not
only
about
money
but
also
benefits from economic and emotional aspects. Economic
wisely
, most
commonly
housings are
usually
seen
as assets which is able to turn into
money
no matter how long you would have
lived
there, albeit
being treated
with less value than it
originally
was.
In addition
to this, it
also
gives us a feeling of security since in our
own
house
, it is no longer necessary to care about what you do
but
it is in renting apartment.

From my personal view, this case could be a
negative
situation for environmental reasons.

It can be
often
said that to build housings,
arguably
large amount of spaces
are required
.
Given
the
current
situation where more spaces have
been occupied
already in
especially
cities like Tokyo, the
left
option seems to
cut
down forests and to flatten there to build new
ones
. This is
obviously
detrimental to those ecosystems and flora and fauna. Apart from this, there is an alarming problem
now
which is that
a lot of
abandoned housings are
still
left
, taking over
potentially
useful spaces. It
also
notoriously
costs much
money
to demolish those buildings.

Considering about those
two adverse effects, that might be
negative
situation.
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IELTS essay Some people say that having our own home is more important than renting ones.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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