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Some people say that government should give more money on education than sports. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that government should give more money on education than sports. 5d8A
There is an opinion from few individuals saying that Government bodies should allocate more budgets on academics compared to sports. I completely agree with the given statement. The reason for my agreement is explained in the following paragraphs. To begin with, Goverement should spend for money on education because, in 21st century necessity of man power has been reduced because of technological advancements and to meet future job requirements government should tend to educate more and more childrens. Education is right of every individual but in rural areas there in one school between several villages, more schools should be developed by government so children don’t need to travel long distance to attend school. Example: P&G being a private company is constructing school in every village of UP & Bihar to provide free education. Government should inspire and work individually or shake hands with them. Educating children today would be benifical for the country tomorrow. Every child is special and nobody knows who he/she would be tomorrow. If they study well in their subject of intrest, they would get their job accordingly and this will led to their beautiful future and improved standard of living. This will further reflect economy of our country. Higher the educated people, higher will be the salaries and higher will be the tax payers. This tax will be again used for the betterment of the unpriviliged children and poor people. Example: A survey shows that Economy of the country is directly proportional to the level of education of people residing in that country. Thus, to conclude the discussion, it can be commented that spending more money on education can led to better future of the country and children.
There is an opinion from few individuals saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
bodies should allocate more budgets on academics compared to sports. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. The reason for my agreement is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Goverement
should spend for money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in 21st century necessity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
power has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technological advancements and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
future job requirements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should tend to educate more and more
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is right of every individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in rural areas there in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
between several villages, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
be developed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don’t need to travel long distance to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Example: P&G being a private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in every village of UP & Bihar to provide free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should inspire and work
individually
or shake hands with them.

Educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifical
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
tomorrow. Every child is special and nobody knows who he/she would be tomorrow. If they study well in their subject of
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrest
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their job
accordingly
and this will led to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
future and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
standard of living. This will
further
reflect economy of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Higher the educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, higher will be the salaries and higher will be the tax payers. This tax will be again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the betterment of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unpriviliged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Example: A survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that Economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
directly
proportional to the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
residing in that country.

Thus
,
to conclude
the discussion, it can
be commented
that spending more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can led to better future of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that government should give more money on education than sports.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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