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Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing home. Write advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing home. Write advantages and disadvantages of this trend? LpR1
Most of old-age people are not showing cautious by their family members and children instead they are joining in orphanage home. This essay enlightens about the advantages and disadvantages of keeping elderly peoples in nursing home. To embark with, In this cutting-edge technological world in recent years most people are sending their parents to nursing home. There are several pros to support the above statement. The primary reason would be for independence. For instance, if the senior citizens are living in home there will be loss in freedom for family or wife and husband they are in thought that taking care is burden for certain people. The secondary reason is staying in close proximity to family and friends whereas, an individual can visit their their parents and colleagues without any hesitation. Additionally, they can attend to parties of their dear ones which gives recreation to the people. Due to this factors they are irresponsible towards their parents. On the other hand, there are also several demerits for keeping aged ones in care homes. Firstly, the elder people face several long-term problems with food due to the lack of nutritious food in nursing homes however, old age pupils feel difficult to prepare their own food because of some circumstances. Therefore, this not merely leads to causing illness but also causes various disease. Secondly, elderly people face difficulty to recognise life threatening medical conditions and obtain appropriate medical care this sometimes leads to death of the person. Finally, old-age people feel alone at orphanage homes by memorizing their family and children this shows effect on psychological disorders such as mental illness, depression and much more respectively. To sum up, there are majority of negative affect when compared to positive affects which ought to be taken in to consideration to improve the standard of living in communities.
Most of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not showing cautious by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and children
instead
they are joining in orphanage home. This essay enlightens about the advantages and disadvantages of keeping elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
in nursing home. To embark with, In this cutting-edge technological world in recent years most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are sending their parents to nursing home. There are several pros to support the above statement. The primary reason would be for independence.
For instance
, if the senior citizens are living in home there will be loss in freedom for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or wife and husband they are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that taking care is burden for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The secondary reason is staying in
Consider using "proximity".
close proximity
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends whereas, an individual can visit
Possible typo: you repeated a word
their their
parents and colleagues without any hesitation.
Additionally
, they can attend to parties of their dear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
which gives recreation to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Due to
Did you mean "these"?
this
factors they are irresponsible towards their parents.
On the other hand
, there are
also
several demerits for keeping aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
Firstly
, the elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face several long-term problems with food due to the lack of nutritious food in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age pupils feel difficult to prepare their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances.
Therefore
, this not
merely
leads to causing illness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
causes various disease.
Secondly
, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face difficulty to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
life threatening medical conditions and obtain appropriate medical care this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
leads to death of the person.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel alone at orphanage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
by memorizing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and children this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
effect on psychological disorders such as mental illness, depression and much more
respectively
. To sum up, there are
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
affect when compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
affects which ought to
be taken
in to consideration to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the standard of living in communities.
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IELTS essay Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing home. Write advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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