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Some people think that government is wasting money on arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere? To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that government is wasting money on arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere? kQ7d
Art reflects the heritage of a country and depict the creativity of an individual. General perception propagates that instead of squandering funds on art, authorities should allocate its payment for the betterment of other sector. I am in consummate the discord of this notion and I will explicate my viewpoints in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, there are myriad reasons why the government support the art sector. First and foremost, the culture and traditions of a nation is represented by art sector. To elaborate it, art reflects the civilizations and rituals of a nation. While it promotes people to understand their culture, link them to roots of their background. There are several art galleries around us where umpteen visual paintings and craft works are in showcase. These types of creative work is done by artisans or craft workers. These exhibitions not only gives the information about the historical but also tells the cultural uniqueness. To cite an example, National museum of India, is the eminent museum all over the world where numerous artifacts and canvas are display, view the historical events. Folks are gotten about the ancient time by museum. In addition, art sector helps to boost the tourism. To explicate, although every year crowd from outside the country come to see the architectural facts, it is necessary to maintain its artistic legacy and ameliorate it more so the visitors visit again and again. When tourism rate rises, the economic growth will definitely uplift. Economic rate of a country is upsurge by art sector. To exemplify, In 2008 there is a survey done by UNESCO. The survey report has revealed that in India 38% of economy value is increased by tourism sector whereas it boost more tourism as well. To commence with, art provides the plethora of benefits in human lives. Furthermore, it gives employment to the large set of individuals. . To explain it, the handful of people are gotten job by various fields of arts. They not only employ a person but also give them chance to show their innate quality. To illustrate it, artists like singer and dancers have huge fan following. Their shows are watched by portion of society. These events are their source of income as well as give them fame. Without government support the art form will be die down and their will be huge loss for a country. Moreover, it is a good source of venting out the the stress. In brief, In the fast pace of life, individuals do not have enough time to relax themselves whereas the art helps employs to restore the mental energy and reduce stress. For example, in the tech- savvy era, folks are doing 8- 10 hours of shift whenever they listen some music in break they feel rejuvenate. In compendium, I would like to ingeminate that, authorities should disturb funds to all sectors including art because every sector has its own contribution towards the development of a country. While taking some praise worthy steps, the pride of a nation will also enhance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
reflects the heritage of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and depict the creativity of an individual. General perception propagates that
instead
of squandering funds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, authorities should allocate its payment for the betterment of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. I am in consummate the discord of this notion and I will explicate my viewpoints in the subsequent paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are myriad reasons why the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.
First
and foremost, the culture and traditions of a nation
is represented
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. To elaborate it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
reflects the civilizations and rituals of a nation. While it promotes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to understand their culture, link them to roots of their background. There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries around us where umpteen visual paintings and craft works are in showcase. These types of creative work
is done
by artisans or craft workers. These exhibitions not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
the information about the historical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
the cultural uniqueness. To cite an example, National museum of India, is the eminent museum all over the world where numerous artifacts and canvas are display, view the historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Folks
are gotten
about the ancient time by museum.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. To explicate, although every year crowd from outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the architectural facts, it is necessary to maintain its artistic legacy and ameliorate it more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the visitors visit again and again. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
rate rises, the economic growth will definitely uplift. Economic rate of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is upsurge by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. To exemplify, In 2008 there is a survey done by UNESCO. The survey report has revealed that in India 38% of economy value
is increased
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
whereas it
Did you mean "boosts"?
boost
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
as well
. To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
provides the plethora of benefits in human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Furthermore
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
employment to the large set of individuals.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, the handful of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are gotten
job by various fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. They not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
employ a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their innate quality. To illustrate it, artists like singer and dancers have huge fan following. Their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by portion of society. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are their source of income
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them fame. Without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
form will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
down and their will be huge loss for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of venting out
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
In brief
, In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of life, individuals do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to relax themselves whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
employs to restore the mental energy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For example
, in the tech- savvy era, folks are doing
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
8- 10
hours of shift whenever they listen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
music in break they feel rejuvenate. In compendium, I would like to
Possible spelling mistake found.
ingeminate
that, authorities should disturb funds to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
contribution towards the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. While taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
praise worthy steps, the pride of a nation will
also
enhance.
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IELTS essay Some people think that government is wasting money on arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
507 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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