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Some people say that entertainers such as sports star musicians provide huge of money

Some people say that entertainers such as sports star musicians provide huge of money 1VV0A
In the contemporary era, the proliferation of entertainers drastically increasing in the globe which gives us plathora of benefits. Minority of people claim that entertainers like sports star, actors, actress, musicians are paid lots of money however, from my point of view I agree with the given notion for my inclination with proper justification of above mentioned notion I discussed in the further paragraphs. To begin with, there are numerous reasons why the organization gave lots of money to the entertainers. The frist and foremost cause is that, they have huge amount of skills and talents in the particular field. For instance, in india, the BCCI gives High salary to the Indian cricketers such as virat Kohli the yearly income of virat Kohli is around 25 thousands dollars. Another reason is that, people are most interesting in their talent. This can be evidenced by in Times of India, in United States of America the famous musician alean walker whenever he is sing a song he get the around five thousand dollars per songs as well as people are follow is lifestyle. On the other hand, sometimes overusing providing money it is bad impact on people life. Firstly we all know that if the people can not give better performance and provide high salary it is bad effect on club for instance, in football many organisations provide more money and after that the sport star do not focous on the game beside that, this money spand on the health care so people can get better treatment. In conclusion, it is abvious that, spanding money on entertainers from my point of view, I think it is good but sometimes it is bad impact on sportstar.
In the contemporary era, the proliferation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertainers
drastically
increasing in the globe which gives us
Possible spelling mistake found.
plathora
of benefits. Minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertainers
like sports star, actors, actress, musicians
are paid
lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
however
, from my point of view I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion for my inclination with proper justification of above mentioned notion I discussed in the
further
paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are numerous reasons why the organization gave lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertainers
. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
frist
and foremost cause is that, they have huge amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and talents in the particular field.
For instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
BCCI
gives High salary to the Indian cricketers such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
virat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kohli
the yearly income of
Possible spelling mistake found.
virat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kohli
is around 25 thousands dollars. Another reason is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are most interesting in their talent. This can
be evidenced
by in Times of India,
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United States".
in United States
of America the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
musician
Possible spelling mistake found.
alean
walker whenever he is sing a song he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
the around five thousand dollars per songs
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are follow is lifestyle.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
overusing providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life.
Firstly
we all know that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not give better performance and provide high salary it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on club
for instance
, in football
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisations
provide more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and after that the sport star do not
Possible spelling mistake found.
focous
on the game beside that, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Possible spelling mistake found.
spand
on the health care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better treatment.
In conclusion
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
abvious
that,
Possible spelling mistake found.
spanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertainers
from my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportstar
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that entertainers such as sports star musicians provide huge of money

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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