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Some people believe that for university is better

Some people believe that for university is better Oll0p
After graduating school all students have two choices to work or to study. It is generally claim that continue to study is advantageous for future career than working right after finishing school. I personally believe that studying for a University is useful for career development. Due to reasons that are, job satisfaction and university degree will affect to salary. As mentioned above, job satisfaction is crucial to vareer improvement. After graduating students have a variety of professions that they can study, whilst after finishing school students will not have a diversity of jobs that they would like to work. Only vacancies such as waiters, sellers would be available for them. There is a doubt that they will love their job. A good illustration of this can be a report of BBC News, proffers demonstrated student who finished university has more chances to receive a job pleasure than a student who has no university degree. Moreover, university degree can be beneficial to a wage. One supportive statements states that employees look for educated workers. In this arised situation, the university degree can serve as a reason for hiring. One evident example claims successful businessman, Elon Musk mentioned that higher education is a basis for a high salary. To summarize, tertiary education is more profitable in future career, owing to consequences such as job satisfaction as well as higher wage.
After
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
school all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have two choices to work or to study. It is
generally
Consider using a past participle here: "claimed".
claim
that continue to study is advantageous for future career than working right after finishing school. I
personally
believe that studying for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is useful for career development. Due to reasons that are,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree will affect to salary.

As mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is crucial to
Possible spelling mistake found.
vareer
improvement. After graduating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a variety of professions that they can study, whilst after finishing school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not have a diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that they would like to work.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
vacancies such as waiters, sellers would be available for them. There is a doubt that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this can be a report of BBC News, proffers demonstrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who finished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has more chances to receive a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
pleasure than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree can be beneficial to a wage. One supportive statements states that employees look for educated workers. In this
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "arose", the past tense form of the verb 'arise'?
arised
situation, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree can serve as a reason for hiring. One evident example claims successful businessman, Elon Musk mentioned that higher education is a basis for a high salary.

To summarize
, tertiary education is more profitable in future career, owing to consequences such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction
as well
as higher wage.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that for university is better

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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