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Some people say that educational qualification is necessary for success in life where as others say that educational qualification is not needed for success in life

Some people say that educational qualification is necessary for success in life where as others say that educational qualification is not needed for success in life E7Q1Q
In the contemporary, it is often argued by certain individuals that a person would achieve success in life if they have a degree from a college or a university. However; others do not agree with this opinion. In this essay, we would discuss both views. In my opinion, a person must possess practical knowledge if they want to be successful in life. On the one hand, individuals believe that a degree is significant because if a person is qualified enough he or she would get a government job. Since a degree is required to work for the government, therefore; people opine that once an individual is graduated, he or she would eventually get a job in the government sector. Consequently; they would be successful in life. For instance, the Indian government have decided that a person, who has a master's degree would get a job in the railways. On the other hand, people think that practical skills are more important nowadays. If a person has skills, then he or she could establish their own company and provide jobs to others. For instance, Elon Musk, who is the owner of Tesla and Spacex do not have a university degree, but he has a sound knowledge of programming languages. He developed the Paypal software and sold it for ten million dollars. He invested the money wisely, as a result, at the age of forty-five, he is the youngest billionaire. To conclude, I personally believe that practical skills are important in the contemporary era. If a person possesses such skills, not only he or she could attain a lucrative job, but they could even create their own company in the future.
In the contemporary, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by certain individuals that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
would achieve success in life if they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
from a college or a university.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
; others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion. In this essay, we would discuss both views. In my opinion, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
possess practical knowledge if they want to be successful in life.

On the one hand, individuals believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is qualified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
he or she would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Since a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is required
to work for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
therefore
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that once an individual
is graduated
, he or she would
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
sector.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
; they would be successful in life.
For instance
, the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
have decided that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, who has a master's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
The usual preposition for "get a job" is "with" for an organization. Revise: "with the railways".
in the railways
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
nowadays. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, then he or she could establish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to others.
For instance
, Elon Musk, who is the owner of Tesla and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Spacex
do not have a university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he has a sound knowledge of programming languages. He developed the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Paypal
software and sold it for ten million dollars. He invested the money
wisely
,
as a result
, at the age of forty-five, he is the youngest billionaire.

To conclude
, I
personally
believe that practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the contemporary era. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
possesses such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
he or she could attain a lucrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they could even create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in the future.
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IELTS essay Some people say that educational qualification is necessary for success in life where as others say that educational qualification is not needed for success in life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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