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Some people say that education system is the only critical factor to the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that education system is the only critical factor to the development of a country. with this statement? awEjX
One of the indicators of a developed country is the level of education of local residents. Personally, I think that the education provides development of critical thinking and competitiveness; therefore, it increases the level of education of the society. Firstly, starting to teach students in schools critical thinking from a young age is the way to empower them to form their own opinions and make better choices. In addition, critical thinkers have analysis, problem-solving and open-minded skills. As a result, it builds a well-educated nation with creative thinking and the ability to solve problems. Secondly, nowadays, in a world of global competition, the nation’s competitiveness plays a crucial role, because it leads to the growth of the country. Moreover, the education system rises the development of this ability in people through studying in educational establishments. In conclusion, I believe that the quality of the education system plays a vital role in the development of a country. Eventually, the nation’s prosperity in education, which includes progress in abilities such as critical thinking and competitiveness, becomes one of the main reasons for success in the country's development.
One of the indicators of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed country
is the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of local residents.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
and competitiveness;
therefore
, it increases the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of the society.

Firstly
, starting to teach students in schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
from a young age is the way to empower them to form their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better choices.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
critical
thinkers have analysis, problem-solving and open-minded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
As a result
, it builds a well-educated nation with creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
and the ability to solve problems.

Secondly
, nowadays, in a world of global competition, the nation’s competitiveness plays a crucial role,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it leads to the growth of the country.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system rises the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of this ability in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
through studying in educational establishments.

In conclusion
, I believe that the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system plays a vital role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of a country.
Eventually
, the nation’s prosperity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, which includes progress in abilities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
and competitiveness, becomes one of the main reasons for success in the country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that education system is the only critical factor to the development of a country. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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