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Some people say that Ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people say that Ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines AAWe
Technology has revolutionised the whole era. Initiating to use technology for advancement and becoming slaves to it is a drastic change. In no way, e-books and modernised gadgets can replace our old heritage of reading newspapers and magazines. There should be an amalgamation of inventions and old values. To embark with, not everyone is a tech-savvy person. We still have whole lot of people who does not know how to operate computers and read E-books. Undoubtedly, we can teach them how to use modernised technology. This will lead to more cons than pros. To illustrate, an old man who started to gaze for 4 hours a day on computers will become an easy prey. This can ultimately lead to disorders like glaucoma, hypermetropia or myopia. Furthermore, new generation will not even realise what are newspapers and magazines and why they were used? We have to take our young minds to museums to teach them about our old lived tradition of reading newspapers and magazines. Children in their young age will wear prescription glasses. We should educate our future generations before it is too late for them to realise. Pioneers like Charles Babbage invented computers for growth of people and not to forget them old values. To elucidate, modernisation sounds superficially attractive but becoming servitude of technology is a substantial drawback. Parents should be stringent and make a reading only time for their kids, in which they read through newspapers and magazines. Thus, the need of hour is to work on our believes and utilise the technology in moderation, as excess of even salt spoils the dish.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the whole era. Initiating to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for advancement and becoming slaves to it is a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. In no way, e-books and
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
gadgets can replace our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
heritage of reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
. There should be an amalgamation of inventions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
values.

To embark with, not everyone is a tech-savvy person. We
still
have
Consider using "lot".
whole lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who does not know how to operate computers and read E-books.
Undoubtedly
, we can teach them how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. This will lead to more cons than pros. To illustrate, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to gaze for 4 hours a day on computers will become an easy prey. This can
ultimately
lead to disorders like glaucoma,
Possible spelling mistake found.
hypermetropia
or myopia.

Furthermore
, new generation will not even
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
what are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
and why they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
? We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take our young minds to museums to teach them about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
tradition of reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
. Children in their young age will wear prescription glasses. We should educate our future generations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it is too late for them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
. Pioneers like Charles Babbage invented computers for growth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and not to forget them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
values.

To elucidate,
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
sounds
superficially
attractive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
becoming servitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a substantial drawback. Parents should be stringent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
time for their kids, in which they read through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
.
Thus
, the need of hour is to work on our
Did you mean "beliefs" (noun) instead of believes (verb)?
believes
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in moderation, as excess of even salt spoils the dish.
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IELTS essay Some people say that Ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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