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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology BO1V
Due to advancement in technology the way people communicate with each other has been changed. It affected the people bonding in several ways and i think it has both positive and negative effects. To begin with, technology affects the people's interaction with each other in three main ways first and foremost is that technology allow to do business with different countries, as with the help of video conferences people can do business worldwide without ever meeting. Secondly, with the help of educational applications students take lessons at anytime anywhere. For example, during carona pandemic students got video lessons with the help of zoom and skype. Thirdly, technology also affects in a social way since they can make new friends and find new people with facebook or instagram rather than face to face. On the other hand, technology has some positive effects. Earlier the corporation between people in different countries was difficult because they used letters for communication but thesedays through email, phone or videos they can easily communicate with each other. On the other hand, it also has negative development for example, people make friends online rather than mixing with their peers in real world as a result, the gap between friendships is increasing. In conclusion, technology affects the people life in many ways and i think it has both benefits and loss.
Due to advancement in
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technology
the
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way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate with each
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other
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
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people
bonding in several
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ways
and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
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think
it has both
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positive
and
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negative
effects.

To
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begin
with,
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technology
affects the
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people
's interaction with each
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other
in three main
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ways
first
and foremost is that
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technology
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allow
Did you mean "doing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to do
business with
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different
countries, as with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of video conferences
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people
can do business worldwide without ever meeting.
Secondly
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of educational applications students take lessons at anytime anywhere.
For example
, during
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carona
pandemic students
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got
video lessons with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of zoom and skype.
Thirdly
,
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technology
also
affects in a social
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way
since they can
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make
new friends and find new
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people
with
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facebook
or
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instagram
rather
than face to face.

On the
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other
hand,
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technology
has
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some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. Earlier the corporation between
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people
in
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different
countries was difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
letters for communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesedays
through email, phone or videos they can
easily
communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends online
rather
than mixing with their peers in real world
as a result
, the gap between friendships is increasing.
In conclusion
,
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technology
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has both benefits and loss.

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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