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Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with this argument

Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. with this argument LrwOV
It is indeed a fact that managing money is an important skill of life. It is acquired by human beings in the earth. However save money is extremely important for everyone or the pupil who do study in school. I am completely agree with this statement. There are various factors which support the thought that students who learning in the school they should learn about the money management because at this age they have less knowledge of save pocket money. In addition they stop using of money on to buy video games, coloring books and so on. Moreover money saving methods beneficial for their future to owing they will manage the money to use in upcoming time as well as they will use their save money for universities fees. In foreign countries all schools provide the part time work to teach the students saving importance of money. Government and schools should try to add some subject related to save money. Because adolescen period is best to learn the good ability which use in future. Parents should give money to their children to buy the households things as a result they would be able learn skill of bargain. In the conclusion money management helps the students of higher secondary schools to understanding tits value. I firmly that it is good idea to teach this skill at school
It is
indeed
a fact that managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of life. It
is acquired
by human beings in the earth.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everyone or the pupil who do study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I am completely
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this statement. There are various factors which support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that students who learning in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they should learn about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at this age they have less knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, they".
addition they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
video games, coloring books and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
saving methods beneficial for their future to owing they will manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in upcoming time
as well
as they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for universities fees. In foreign countries all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
work to teach the students saving importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subject related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
Possible spelling mistake found.
adolescen
period is best to learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ability which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. Parents should give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to their children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the households things
as a result
they would be
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'learn'.
able learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of bargain. In the conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the students of higher secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to understanding tits value. I
firmly
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to teach this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
at
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
school
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IELTS essay Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. with this argument

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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