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Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and relevant examples. (Source: unknown)

Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. Give your opinion and relevant examples. (Source: unknown) 0ApXG
Although, few numbers of layman think which humankind working under the professionalism as in the case doctors and teachers have to payment higher than sports personalities and entertainment stars. I think reserve manner and fully concur with the given statement. In this essay will examine the measure view points why clerical worker deserve highly pay. Although, few numbers of layman think which humankind working under the professionalism as in the case doctors and teachers have to payment higher than sports personalities and entertainment stars. I think reserve manner and fully concur with the given statement. In this essay will examine the measure view points why clerical worker deserve highly pay.
Although, few numbers of layman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
which humankind working under the professionalism as in the case doctors and teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
payment higher than sports personalities and entertainment stars. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
reserve manner and
fully
concur with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. In this essay will examine the measure view points why clerical worker deserve
highly
pay.

Although, few numbers of layman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
which humankind working under the professionalism as in the case doctors and teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
payment higher than sports personalities and entertainment stars. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
reserve manner and
fully
concur with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. In this essay will examine the measure view points why clerical worker deserve
highly
pay.

IELTS essay Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. Give your opinion and relevant examples. (Source: unknown)

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
110 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and relevant examples. (Source: unknown)