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Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to the new generation, companies should encourage the employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to the new generation, companies should encourage the employees who are older than 55 to retire. g5GPl
The increasing unemployment rate is key problem that we can find throughout the world. It is widely argued that the retiring age needs to be reduced from the age 60 to 55 in order to, resolve the unemployment issue that is prevailing among the younger people. I feel this statement has a validity because, employing younger people is beneficial to both companies and society. This essay would delineate in favorable towards early retiring age at their 50’s. Firstly, younger generations are impulsive, if there are rightly trained, they can contribute more towards the organization’s profit. In fact, employing them in developing countries is a vital decision provided that, economy becomes constructive. For example, Young minds can directly contribute in the GDP if they are employed in country like India. Secondly, they are more flexible and adaptable when compared to experience older people. Furthermore, naturally they have the ability to work for long hours. From my viewpoint, if their given ample opportunities, it will enhance their well-being and become mature individuals. On the contrast, less number of people claim without proper guidance from older people, younger will be unable to move in the right direction. In other words, younger generation tend to have distractions therefore older people acts as their guide and help them to stay highly motivated. For instance, young people might fail to take the responsible actions due to their age. However, today’s generation is advanced and creative that the previous ones. I feel they will be able to accept anybody as guide, if they are provided with opportunities. Owing to fact of high unemployment rate, experience persons are given chances than freshers. To conclude, I totally agree on the statement to encourage older people to retire at early age as of 55 since it would be providing the chance for younger minds to showcase their talents and ability.
The increasing unemployment rate is key problem that we can find throughout the world. It is
widely
argued that the retiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
60 to 55 in order to, resolve the unemployment issue
that is
prevailing among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I feel this statement has a validity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, employing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
beneficial to both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and society. This essay would delineate in favorable towards early retiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
at their
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "50s".
50’s
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generations are impulsive, if there are
rightly
trained, they can contribute more towards the organization’s profit. In fact, employing them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
is a vital decision provided that, economy becomes constructive.
For example
, Young minds can
directly
contribute in the GDP if they
are employed
in country like India.
Secondly
, they are more flexible and adaptable when compared to experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
,
naturally
they have the ability to work for long hours. From my viewpoint, if their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
ample opportunities, it will enhance their well-being and become mature individuals.

On the contrast, less number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim without proper guidance from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
will be unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in the right direction.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation tend to have distractions
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
acts
as their guide and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to stay
highly
motivated.
For instance
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might fail to take the responsible actions due to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation
is advanced
and creative that the previous ones. I feel they will be able to accept anybody as guide, if they
are provided
with opportunities. Owing to fact of high unemployment rate, experience persons are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chances than freshers.

To conclude
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on the statement to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to retire at early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
as of 55 since it would be providing the chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
The verb 'minds' is used with the gerund form: "minds showcasing".
minds to showcase
their talents and ability.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to the new generation, companies should encourage the employees who are older than 55 to retire.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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