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Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. DO you agree or disagree with this argument?

Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. with this argument? DA9p
Everyone has to learn to manage their finances. Children are no different. Therefore I agree with the argument that money management skills should be taught in secondary and higher secondary schools. This practice will prepare young people for their future. Since we need money to buy essential items and to lead a comfortable life, money management skills are crucial for our overall well-being and happiness. There are several benefits to teaching money management at school. A lot of children, especially those coming from rich families, receive generous amounts of pocket money. Many of them waste this money on unnecessary things because they don’t understand or appreciate the value of money. If money management is part of the curriculum, they will learn to use it judiciously. This learning will stand them in good stead throughout their life. Also, after school, many children leave their home and move to far away cities to pursue higher education. Unless they know how to spend their money, they will soon run out of funds and put them and their families in trouble. If they learned money management at school this wouldn’t happen. There is no right or wrong time to learn a skill; even so, the sooner we start the better. Today’s children are tomorrow’s adults. If they learn essential life skills today, it will benefit them and their country now and in the future. Last but not least, money management lessons may also improve the arithmetical skills of the children. In summary, developing the foundation is crucial for any learning and having money management as a subject in schools will definitely prepare young people for their future.
Everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
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learn
to manage their finances.
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Children
are no
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different
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should
be taught
in secondary and higher secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This practice will prepare young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for their future.

Since we need
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money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
essential items and to lead a comfortable life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are crucial for our
overall
well-being and happiness. There are several benefits to teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
those coming from rich families, receive generous amounts of pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them waste this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on unnecessary things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t understand or appreciate the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
is part of the curriculum, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
judiciously
. This learning will stand them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead throughout their life.

Also
, after
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school
,
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many
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to far away cities to pursue higher education. Unless they know how to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
run out of funds and put them and their families in trouble.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they learned
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
at
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school
this wouldn’t happen.

There is no right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
time to
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learn
a
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skill
; even
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so
, the sooner we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the better.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s
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children
are tomorrow’s adults. If they
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learn
essential life
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skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, it will benefit them and their country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and in the future. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
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money
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management
lessons may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the arithmetical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of the children.

In summary, developing the foundation is crucial for any learning and having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
as a subject in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will definitely prepare young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for their future.

IELTS essay Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. with this argument?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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