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some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it discuss both views and give your own opinion @Garellibey kanalına mesaj gönder

Although some people think that advertising has important role to persuade people for buying new products, others feel that we do not care of advertising because this is no longer attractive approaching. In my view, advertising is still a good tool to boost the selling. This essay will demonstrate views of both sides. On the one hand, advertisements are seen as a vital method to sell new products to people because these give good chances to productors to introduce their items to people. In the past, this was limited with the T. V and some newspapers advertisements. However, we live in cutting edge-technology era now so there are more opportunities to show advertisements to people. Especially, the Internet advertisements are very effective way and precious for sellers. Every year, a lot of companies publishes their data about selling amount. According to these, companies are able to sell more and more products thanks to the Internet advertisements. On the other hand, people feel that the advertisements are already known by society so these are not able attract desire of society. When they see any one of them, they change the channel or website. Furthermore, some people even think companies spend their money and time for nothing while making advertisements. They can be made more beneficial products with these resources according to these people. To sum up, despite conflict of views between people about importance of advertisements, I think that these contribute really huge advantages to selling amounts thanks to increased opportunities to publish them.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that advertising has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for buying new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, others feel that we do not care of advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is no longer attractive approaching. In my view, advertising is
still
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
tool to boost the selling. This essay will demonstrate views of both sides.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a vital method to sell new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chances to
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productors
to introduce their items to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the past, this
was limited
with the T. V and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
newspapers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
However
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in cutting edge-technology era
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there are more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Especially
, the Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective way and precious for sellers. Every year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
publishes their data about selling amount. According to these,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are able to sell more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
thanks to the Internet advertisements.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are already known by society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these are not
The preposition ‘to’ is required in front of the verb ‘attract’.
able attract
desire of society. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any one of them, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the channel or website.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
spend their money and time for nothing while making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. They can
be made
more beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with these resources according to these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up, despite conflict of views between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these contribute
really
huge advantages to selling amounts thanks to increased opportunities to publish them.
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IELTS essay some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it discuss both views and give your own opinion @Garellibey kanalına mesaj gönder

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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